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Internet plays a vital role in collecting information and communication for all age groups.


ankit10 1 / 2  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
Internet is an excellent source of communication, but some people suggest it's hard to find info...

Today world has moved at the fast pace into modernisation. Internet plays a vital role in collecting information and communication for all age group. But, some people argued that, other mediums are also available for providing useful and relevant data. This essay will examine the importance of internet as well as other mode of information provider.

To begin with, internet is now a need of an hour. Everyone is dependent on internet. It helps people to not only solve their queries but also give them additional details about the topic with one button click.

On the other hand, books are also a best of getting information. Some people believe that it not only enrich their reading skills but also keep them away from harmful internet radiations. In addition to, books are the best friend and reduce the level of distraction like games and videos that are available on internet.

In my opinion, no doubt that the internet is the best information provider. This is because, it is easy, faster and reliable. Moreover, it always update you with the correct information and reduce boredom.Furthermore, internet helps people to connect socially. Facebook and whatsapp are the perfect example as per current scenario. A person can easily commute with their distant friend and relatives without going anywhere.

To sum up, there are various source are available in market like telephone, television and so on but, internet is the most interactive and entertaining way in collecting relevant data.

Eng Phin 6 / 14 6  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
@ankit10
Aside from some grammatical errors, you might want to reorganize the content.
1. Related to your title, the content of your essay does explain about internet as an excellent source of information. But there is no part explaining about the difficulties of getting information (as suggested by some people)

2. The paragraph that explains about book seems like a separated story, since you immediately mention about book in one paragraph and then move back to internet. And in the last paragraph you mention 'telephone, television, and so on'

In general, you have to make sure that your essay sticks to the title.

This might help:
Paragraph 1: Introduction to internet, which some people suggest that it is hard to find information.
Paragraph 2: Explains about internet importance, as well as its advantages.
Paragraph 3: Explains about other source of information which tackles the problem in internet. Do not put in too much examples. Book is a good example.

Paragraph 4: Write about your opinion on this topic. You might think that for you, internet is better, compared to book (do not suddenly explain about other source of information)

Paragraph 5: Conclusion.

Correct me if I am wrong..
OP ankit10 1 / 2  
Nov 2, 2016   #3
@Eng Phin

Thank you for the feedback, i agreed with all the points that you have mentioned.

But, i would like to tell you that the actual question is this:
It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.

Can you please revert me back on the basis of the above question.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
asmaraj96 9 / 11  
Nov 3, 2016   #4
Hi @ankit10,

After reading your essay, I recognize that your essay is writing task 2 of IELTS. It is pleased to read your essay because you already have delivered your best to make it, but unfortunately your length word is only 244 words in which for writing task 2 in IELTS it requires more than 250 words. Also, I got some mistakes on your essay, and here are those corrections:

1. But, some people argued that,(no need comma here) other mediumsmedia(Medium is singular noun, and Media is plural noun) are also available for ...

2. In addition to , books are the best friend and ...
3. In my opinion, there is no doubt that ...
4. Moreover, it always updateup-to-date you with ...

Hope those all are useful for your next essay and keep writing :)
Ashkan123 12 / 33 2  
Nov 3, 2016   #5
Hi. I've found some minor mistake .I hope it helps.

1. But , some people argued that, never start your sentence with But: Try: however etc .
2. you don not need comma after but .
3. internet is now a need of an hour.=>nowadays, internet is ....
4. Everyone is dependent on the internet
5. In my opinion,There is no doubt that the internet is the best way to access to the information .
6. This is because, it is easy, faster and reliable.
7. ... commute with his distant friend

Good job, keep it up
OP ankit10 1 / 2  
Nov 3, 2016   #6
Thanks for your esteemed feedback, i really appreciate and try follow those points.
As per your discussion, i found that i really need to improve the articles.

At last i would like to ask you that, on the basis of IELTS writing task 2 what band you can give me?


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