Hi everyone! I'm a new member here. I wrote this essay and I hope you will give me comments so that I can realize what is wrong and improve in my essay.
Topic: The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undeniable that the Internet has made a breakthrough in changes in human lives and economies. Thus, some people claim that the Internet is turning the world into a global village where everybody will have the same way of thinking and behaving. Personally, I partly agree with this statement.
Obviously, humans experience great influences from the Internet in a wide range of activities. Thanks to the Internet, people today can contact with others who are far from them easily and fast by chat, facebook and so on, They can stay home, enjoying a variety of entertainment on computers such as music, movies and games. The Internet also allows people to update news, go shopping and work online at home. Everyone can connect with the whole world through Internet.
What is more, the Internet has changed the recent state of economy, making the term "gobal economy" on the scene. It is by the Internet that nowadays, a person in one country can work for a foreign company without travelling. Online services appeared and emerged so rapidly that thay have created more chances of employment, allowing people from all corners of the world to take part in.
However, such a "global village" does not mean people will react to the world in the same way. International integration has raised more demands for governments, as well as thier peoples, to be highly aware of national charactersictics. Even in the Internet, unique personalities are encouraged that it is better when someone thinks and behaves exactly as what he feels from the bottom of his heart rather than what others feel.
To sum up, in my opinion, the Internet has transfromed our world into a global village that everyone can connect with others abroad to do anything they want without geographical barriers. Yet, thay are differrent in how they think and take action, as they will always be.
It is undeniable that the Internet has made a breakthrough in changes in human lives and economies.
Thus,Therefore some people claim that the Internet is turning the world into a global village where everybody will have the same way of thinking and
behavingbehavior.Personally, I partly agree with this statement.
.... This is not incorrect and following is what I suggest;
However, I can only partly agree with this opinion.people today can contact with others who are far from them easily and fast by chat,
....
contact each other/ interact with each otherthank you for your suggestions. anyway, do you think that my essay is too long? As I remember, it's over 300 words.
No.... it does not look too long. However, the most important thing is that you should be able to manage time. If you take more than the time allocated for this task to write this essay, then it can be considered as too long :D
Also, if you think of shortening the essay, you can limit your body paras to 2 paragraphs. That means, give only two reasons with two specific examples. That's more than enough. :)
