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IELTS TASK 1 - Internet Use in Europe


JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 13, 2014   #1
The charts compare pastime attitudes of adults in Europe over a 10-year period.

It is clear that watching TV made up the largest proportion of the mature activities in both years (1985 and 1995). By contrast, other activities were the smallest one in each year.

In 1985, adults spent their 32% of spare time on watching TV. There was a little fell in this figure from that amount to 30%, a fall of just 2% in 10 years. The proportion of eating out slide away over the 10-year period, from 23% in 1985 to just 8% in 1995.

Enjoying with other attitudes were only 6% of the total in 1985, but declined to 2% in 1995. Finally, as a result of computer, which was 27% in 1995, talking with family of adolescents rapidly decreased from just 18% in 1985 to only 7% in 1995, compared to talking with friends rose by 8% over a decade. (156)




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 13, 2014   #2
You should attach the right graph with your essay so we could provide you with more comments :)

mature activities

leisure activities of adults

By contrast, other activities were the smallest one in each year.

This sentence is quite confusing. I can see from your fourth paragraph that the proportions of other activities are not quite small.

adults spent their 32% of their spare time on watching TV

a little fell

a slight fall

slide away

decreased rapidly

Enjoying with other attitudes were only 6% of the total in 1985

Other activities accounted for only 6% of the total spare time of European adults in 1985

as a result of computer, which was 27% in 1995, talking with family of adolescents rapidly decreased from just 18% in 1985 to only 7% in 1995

You don't need to give any interpretation from the data. There may be other reasons why adolescents talked less with their family.
OP JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 13, 2014   #3
Sorry! here's photo!
the heading of the essay doesn't appropraite for the context as well!



dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 18, 2014   #4
The charts compare pastime attitudes of adults in Europe over a 10-year period.

... why do you say "past time attitudes of adults"? Your graph title does not refer anything to that effect. "Attitude" is not an appropriate word to use there (attitude means -a settled way of thinking or feeling about something). This is what I suggest for your intro;

The charts provide details about popularity levels of different leisure activities of the adults in several European countries in 1995,2000 and 2004 .
Simply paraphrase your topic title.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,198 464  
Mar 18, 2014   #5
In 1985, adults spent their 32% of spare time on watching TV. There was a little fell in this figure from that amount to 30%, a fall of just 2% in 10 years. The proportion of eating out slide away over the 10-year period, from 23% in 1985 to just 8% in 1995.

In 1985, the most popular leisure time was watching TV, representing 32 % of total activities, and although it was still a popular activity, in 1995 it had fallen to less than a third of the total. At twenty-three per cent, eating out was the second popular activity for European adults, but this fell significantly to only 8% between 1985 and 1995, a decease of 15 per cent in 10 years.

30%

= less than a third
fanix 3 / 7  
Mar 18, 2014   #6
jas you did well enough with % as you taught me brother !!!
OP JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 18, 2014   #7
Thank you for all corrections)))))
But

in several European countries in 1995,2000 and 2004

You confused with years))))

At twenty-three per cent

15 per cent

32 %

23% - 15% (not 15 per cent and twenty-three per cent)
and it is also mistake to separate the number and %


in 1995 it had fallen to less than a third of the total.

use "by" with the past perfect (had fallen) to give the idea that the increase had happened in the years leading up to 1995.

jas you did well enough with % as you taught me brother !!!

You lost me bro)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,198 464  
Mar 18, 2014   #8
use "by" with the past perfect (had fallen) to give the idea that the increase had happened in the years leading up to 1995.

... yes. You are right. I didn't notice. I learn a lot from you. Many thanks :D
puman 6 / 13 1  
Mar 21, 2014   #9
The two pie charts illustrate the inspection of leisure activities in European between 1985 and 1995 in terms of adults.

"attitude" does not suitable for this, and "aptitude" could be better.
Misnariah Idrus 19 / 35 4  
Mar 22, 2014   #10
Finally, as a result of computer, which was 27% in 1995,


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