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A LARGE NUMBER OF businesses were handled ...
... THE Internet is useD for updating information...
In this digital era, THE internet becomes one ...
CitizenS who busy with their activity do
not have much time
FOR watching TV, reading A newspaper or listening to A radio to keep them updateDwith the latest (...) happened DUE TO EASE OF USING THE INTERNET TO
by using internet
... surf some certain webS according to their needs.
A Telephone is still useD to keep in touch ...
Moreover, THE mobile phone IS designed with (...) possible to
HARNESS THE internet including ...
E-store is A short of THE electronic store. This application
HAS BEEN booming recently since ...
THE Online store makeS buyers and (...) without needS to meet or go to the store. Therefore, nowADAYS trading activities can be done
ALTHOUGH THE BUYERS AND CUSTOMERS stay
at home for 24 hours.
... service providers
IS EXISTED, which makeS people easier to trade.
... activities become
SIMPLIER by using THE internet which bringS convenience to people's lives.Those above are my ...
... not fall the same condition.
Citizen who busy with their activity does not have much time to watching TVYou are supposed to strengthen your opinion. It should bring the clear example or scientific fact to support your opinion. The task achievement does not only have to enter your opinion, you should explore and extend this so that it does not seem as the layman's opinion. Actually, it also happened in the other body paragraphs. Apart from that matter, you fail to offer the good conclusion. Make you sure that conclusion is created by paraphrasing your thesis statement. There does not look your tendency, whether agree or disagree. It only describes the question at the first glance.As many as you read the essay examples, I believe you will get the point of essential elements when you write the essay.
Practice more and more.