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Internet is used for updating information, communicate with others and easily to fulfill daily needs


fikni05 3 / 3  
Aug 31, 2016   #1
Hey guys, please give some correction for my post. Thanks

Human businesses were handled better by using the internet. There are therefore several reasons why I believe in that statement which are; internet is use for updating information, communicate with other, and easily to fulfill daily needs through e-store application.

In this digital era, internet becomes one of the information access tools. Citizen who busy with their activity does not have much time to watching TV, reading newspaper or listening radio to keep them update with the latest news and information that happened can access information by using internet. Not only newest info, people can also surf some certain web according to their needs.

Telephone is still use to keep in touch with other but just it. With the internet people can communicate as well with a more diverse ways such as video call, chatting, social media, email and many certain applications. Moreover mobile phone designed with features that make people possible to use internet including for communication.

The recent trend that exists is e-store. E-store is the short of electronic store. This application was booming recently since people found it very helpful and practical. Many companies serve e-store to make buyer easier for shopping. Online store make buyers and seller easy to interact without need to meet or go to the store. Therefore now trading activities can be done while staying at home for 24 hours. This support by many trading service providers are exist nowadays which make people easier to trade.

To sum up, many human activities become easier by using internet which bring convenience to people's lives.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 1, 2016   #2
Hi Hairul.
Welcome to Essay Forum.
Let me help you to finalize this essay. I wanna give you corrections based on the grammatical and contents of your idea.


Human A LARGE NUMBER OF businesses were handled ...
... THE Internet is useD for updating information...

In this digital era, THE internet becomes one ...
CitizenS who busy with their activity does not have much time to FOR watching TV, reading A newspaper or listening to A radio to keep them updateDwith the latest (...) happened DUE TO EASE OF USING THE INTERNET TO can access information by using internet .

... surf some certain webS according to their needs.

A Telephone is still useD to keep in touch ...
Moreover, THE mobile phone IS designed with (...) possible to use HARNESS THE internet including ...

E-store is A short of THE electronic store. This application was HAS BEEN booming recently since ...
THE Online store makeS buyers and (...) without needS to meet or go to the store. Therefore, nowADAYS trading activities can be done while ALTHOUGH THE BUYERS AND CUSTOMERS staying at home for 24 hours.

... service providers are exist IS EXISTED, which makeS people easier to trade.

... activities become easier SIMPLIER by using THE internet which bringS convenience to people's lives.

Those above are my ...
... not fall the same condition.


Citizen who busy with their activity does not have much time to watching TV

You are supposed to strengthen your opinion. It should bring the clear example or scientific fact to support your opinion. The task achievement does not only have to enter your opinion, you should explore and extend this so that it does not seem as the layman's opinion. Actually, it also happened in the other body paragraphs. Apart from that matter, you fail to offer the good conclusion. Make you sure that conclusion is created by paraphrasing your thesis statement. There does not look your tendency, whether agree or disagree. It only describes the question at the first glance.

As many as you read the essay examples, I believe you will get the point of essential elements when you write the essay.
Practice more and more.
GOOD LUCK
:D


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