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Intro Paragraph of a Pros and Cons of Globalization essay help


Invisibledemon 1 / -  
Sep 30, 2019   #1

writing about globalization



In the country of Bangladesh people in poverty are working hard to earn a mere 1/50 of the wages workers are paid in the U.S.A. Meanwhile, in America, thousands of people easily access the goods created in Bangladesh and other developing countries. For decades people around the world have been trading goods and services for both positive and negative effects; this is known as Globalization. In both developed and developing countries, globalization has caused a shift in the number of jobs available, promotes interdependence and world peace, but also allows unsafe working conditions for people making the goods we receive.

I would like to hear some thoughts on how I could improve this starting paragraph please. The information/statistics in this is only from the sources our teacher allowed us to use and I am absolutely not an expert on writing or globalization so help would be very much appreciated. Also, does globalization need to be capitalized?
Maria - / 1098 389  
Sep 30, 2019   #2
@Invisibledemon
Hey there, welcome to the forum.

Globalization does not need to be capitalized firstly. Others have done this for formality purposes, however it is generally not recommended to do so (or, rather, it isn't required).

In terms of the content that you currently have in the essay, I would recommend opting to start with a generalized introduction towards globalization as a key concept. Rather than putting it out here without thinking, it would be better if you had integrated a more sophisticated introduction that'll lure readers into your writing.

Furthermore, remember that when you're working with additional statistical data, try to add more analysis onto it. For instance, take a look at what you've done with the 1/50 wages data. Instead of expounding briefly what this means in the realm of trade, you jumped into accessibility of goods. Both of these are not correlated to each other, therefore readers would have difficulty following the flow of content. Bear in mind these small transitions. Remember point A should always lead to explanation A, not explanation B.


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