Intro and Thesis statement on Globalization

please review my intro and thesis statement paragraph for clarity and grammar. Thanks!!!

Globalization is having an overwhelmingly positive impact on the developing countries around the world. Economic prosperity of China, South Korea, and India, that was considered to be a Third world country 15-20 years ago, are now successfully thriving in the global market. Evident by the International Monetary Fund (IMF), World Bank, and CIA World Factbook listing them in the top 15 of the 2007 per capita Gross Domestic Product (value of goods and services produced in a year) listing. As the world integrates into one body, we are all inter-connected by the commerce of goods and services. Although there is a vast discrepancy in wealth between the developed and less developed countries, tremendous progress is being made to balance the economic inequality. This essay will explore how Globalization is drastically improving the standard of living of Third World nations by examining international commerce, accessibility to education, and technology.

This is an excellent thesis statement. You are broad in the beginning with an interesting and credible opening, and narrow down at the end to the exact statement of what you will be writing. Very nice work.

Gloria, Thank you for the prompt feedback. It is much appreciated! Now to the task of completing the essay.

Len