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Introductions and Overviews IELTS

krempetkov 13 / 30 6  
Jan 7, 2017   #1

starting and finishing IELTS essays

Well, in the last few days, I have found that I have problems with my Introduction paragraphs in my writing task 2 and I have difficulties with the overview in writing task 1. Now I am going to share some of them with you and I am hoping that you will be able to give me some suggestions how to improve them.


Over the given period, In Yemen, the proportion of people aged 0-14 will drop significantly, as the share of the population by the age between 14-59 will increase dramatically. The opposite trend will be experienced in Italy, where the share of the mid-age group is going to diminish, whereas the proportion of people aged 60+ will nearly twice as big.


It is clear that over the given period, the proportion of foreign students in the provided Canadian universities had increased significantly. The most significant went up was observed in the University of British Columbia, whereas the lowest uplift was in Ontario.

Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why?

It is a never ending question, whether governments have to invest more funds in improving the infrastructure of towns or should they focus on the development of means of public transportation, such as buses and trains. This essay argues that the improvement of public transport should be of paramount importance for every government. Firstly, this essay will discuss how by improving the public transport, local powers could improve the environment in the regions and then it will focus on the financial benefits from overhauling of the local transport.

I have difficulties with this question, I am not sure, whether I have to discuss both points or I have to stick with only 1.

nandasharma 14 / 54 9  
Jan 7, 2017   #2
@krempetkov, I believe this will help.

...I have problems with my Introductionintroductory paragraphs...

...the proportion of people aged 0-14 years will drop...

The opposite trend will be experienced in Italy,Whereas Italy will be experiencing a contradictory trend...

...most significant went uphike was observed in the...

..It is a never ending question controversial subject whether ...

.. and then itthe essay will focus on ...

I'd recommend to stick to a single issue. That way you could elaborate crucial reasons behind it and make your article more descriptive for the reader.
faizunaa17 49 / 95  
Jan 8, 2017   #3
Hello Krempetkov

First of all, let's start with Yemen's essay.

In my opinion, since this is the overall, you can paraphrase the age categories to be more effective and i recommend to you to avoid the "similar words" in the graph. For instance, you can paraphrase the age groups into this forms :

0-14 : The youngest groups/ Pupils / Children below fifteen /
14 - 59 : Middle age groups / Teenagers and Adults / people in productive age /
60 + : The oldest groups / Older People /

Secondly, the Canadian overall

In my opinion, it is good since it can addressed all of the parts, but you can develop it into more less common vocabulary :

"It is clear that" ===> too common. Perhaps you can swap into A closer detailed look at X reveals / A more detailed look at X reveals

Because there are no difference in the graph, all are increase in 2006, you can add additional information in your overall like that :
"All of the trends that is depicted in the Bar charts bear no difference, since it always increase in 2006"

Your third overview in my opinion is already great.

Hopefully it brings benefit to you
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,505 1933  
Jan 9, 2017   #4
George, when you are presented with an and / or question in an essay, such as the one above, this indicates that a comparison essay is expected in the response. Why is it a comparison essay? Simply because it is asking you to consider two sides of the discussion. The pros and the cons of each side have to be accurately displayed in the essay discussion. So if you have 5 paragraphs to write it, you have to write it in the following manner:

1. Overview summary with your opinion indicated. Remember to say that both opinions will be discussed in the essay.
2. The negative opinion discussion
3. The positive opinion discussion
4. Your personal opinion (if required)
5. The concluding paragraph.

Keep in mind that you have to discuss the point that you personally support in the third paragraph, if your personal opinion is required so that your opinion will have a strong foundation to be based upon. If your personal opinion is not required, then you can interchange the positive and negative discussion since the conclusion will be based on a general discussion and will not require a restatement of your personal opinion.

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