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With the invention of the internet, mankind have been benefited in many aspects of their lives


ochio 13 / 10 5  
Oct 7, 2015   #1
I post my essay on wrong category. I supposed to post this in writing feedback category. (corrected) But I hope you still want to correct my essay.

The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the invention of the internet, mankind have been benefited in many aspects of their lives such as in education sector, business world, lifestyle and also in terms of communication. These days, humans cannot be separated from the internet. However, sometimes it also causes negative impacts aside from the benefits that are offered by the Internet itself.

Before the internet was invented and became a trend, it is not easy for people to communicate with one another remotely. Thanks to the internet, people can save costs and time to keep being connected to each other by using facebook,twitter, email and so on. In addition, the Internet is also used as an effective media to carry out marketing activity in business. This is evidenced by many online stores that are available on the internet these days. This facility is definitely favorable for both the sellers and the purchasers. In terms of education, the Internet also provides a very significant transformation. Students can use media such as google and wikipedia to get useful information as reference.

Standing in contrast, there are also the drawbacks of the internet for the society. People tend to depend on the internet too much. They spend much time on social networks instead of in the real world. Another dire effect of internet is netizen are prone to become the objects of cyber crime. So, the users of internet have to defend themselves from being victims of online scams, fraud, identity theft, cyberbullying and other risks.

To conclude, the existence of the internet greatly causes many changes in the way of people life. Every the positive benefit of the Internet is very helpful in human life, although there are still some flaws. However, these deficiencies can be prevented and avoided if people be more careful and use the internet for good purposes only.

anfernee 6 / 19 13  
Oct 7, 2015   #2
it is not easy for people to communicate with one another remotely WAS
This is AS evidenced by many online stores that are available on the internet these days.

instead of in on

Another dire effect of internet isthat netizenS are

Every the positive benefit

if people be more careful and use the internet for good purposes only. are
annabanana1016 2 / 1  
Oct 7, 2015   #3
Be consistent with your capitalization of the word "internet" You capitalized it in the first paragraph last sentence.

became a trend, it iswas not easy for people remotely

by using facebook,twitter, email and so on. does not sound professional to say "and so on" try using etc. instead

This is evidenced by many online stores that are available on the internet these days
Weird phrasing try: The many online stores and items to buy over the internet is evidence of this.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Oct 7, 2015   #4
- Some changes in para 1:
Today's life relies too much on the internet. It is argued that the world economy has grown more rapidly after the influx of the internet. While it is true to some extent, this ever-growing technology electronically introduces massive fraud.

- Some changes in para 2:

Before the internet was invented and became a trend, it is not easy for people to communicate with one another remotely. Thanks to the [...] .

It is argued that the revival of the Internet has changed the way people communicate. This is because the Internet allows different people from different remote areas to connect with one another. There are now a few low cost telephone calls around the world, namely SKYPE and LINE, that offer very affordable balance .


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