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Since its invention television has been loved widely across the whole world and addicted many people


lionontheshore 1 / 1  
Jan 20, 2015   #1
Almost everybody loves watching the television. Since its invention, television has been loved widely across the whole world and caused many people to be addicted to it, until terms like 'couch potato' were even made. Because of this nature, television is often accused of being the prime suspect of breaking bonds between families and friends. However, I don't think this is true at all. In this essay, I would provide some reasons and explanations to corroborate my view.

Majority of the people who advocate the idea of television severing relationships imagine a rather common scene: family members or friends not talking to each other because they are too busy watching the television in their own rooms. However, I think this is a rather erroneous stereotype. As far as I know, most of the families have a single television in their living room, rather than separate ones in their own rooms. And when they want to watch a programme, they watch it together in the living room. Instead of destroying communication between family members, television actually help to bring them together. If it weren't for the television, I am pretty sure the people would rarely come out of their rooms to spend time with their family.

The second reason why I think television can help to improve communication is because they provide topics to talk and discuss about in our everyday lives. Television shows a variety of programmes regarding numerous topics- celebrities, politics, animals, science, and so many more that I can't even state them all. It is quite common for us to discuss about what we have watched in the television with our families and friends. Without television, I am pretty sure we would be deprived of topics to talk about. As an expatriate, I remember how boring my life used to be before the local television had included the channel from my home country. After the change, surprisingly I found myself talking more often with my parents as we discussed about the television programmes we have watched, or telling one another about programmes that either I or they missed. I became closer to my parents and now there isn't hardly a day I don't talk with my parents about things I have watched in the television.

Television also helps to improve our communication skills and language. I believe watching television is one of the best ways to improve your pronunciation and listening skills, or learn a new language. While watching programmes, we can naturally grow familiar to listening and analyzing information. Not only that, it helps learning a new language fairly easy, as what you see on the screen supports what you hear. Even though you are completely ignorant on the language, you can still understand what is going on. For instance, most of the babies learn how to speak from children's programme nowadays. They follow what the characters are saying naturally while watching them. Even the scientists acknowledge that this is a pretty effective way to help the children's linguistic skills.

As a conclusion, I would like to state that television has made our life so much enjoyable by rendering valuable information and helped us to indulge in more talks with our families and friends, although this fact is denied by some people who are still unwilling to accept the benefits television has brought into our lives.

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That's 559 words in total. I am eager to hear about any comment and idea, each and every one would help me greatly.
Thank you so much in advance!
kibz95 16 / 53 15  
Jan 20, 2015   #2
Hello Mr. Hong! (Are you Korean by any chance? If so, 안녕하세요! 저도 한국인 ㅎㅎ)
Your essay is pretty nice. Your usage of vocabulary is evident, there are some trivial grammar mistakes such as
While watching programmes, we cannaturally grow familiar to listening and analyzing information .---> (we naturally grow familiar to listen and analyze information...)
For instance, most of the babies learn how to speak from children's programme nowadays.---> most babies
(A lot of Koreans mess up this one. An article (like THE) is used to specify the object noun. It is unneeded in this situation)

and some sentences are needlessly wordy such as you last sentence in paragraph 2,
I became closer to my parents and now there isn't hardly a day I don't talk with my parents about things I have watched in the television. ------> chage to like this: We became more intimate to each other and we communicate more often about television shows. (I made a sentence over 20 words into a 15 word sentence)

Also, your first paragraph is very weak compared to the other two. I think its because it associates with families gathering which is also presented at paragraph two. It seems redundant. Also if you are Korean, for your information, most westerners have multiple TV's in their homes. If you stated your example with more details like, 'In my country, Korea, having several TV;s in a single house is unheard of. Therefore, it is ridiculous to say TV errodes family relationships because they all have to gather if they wish to watch TV.'

Other than that, well done! 수고하셨습니다!
OP lionontheshore 1 / 1  
Jan 20, 2015   #3
한국인 맞아요 ㅎㅎ It's so nice to meet a Korean here! <3
Thank you for your comments, I'll make sure to keep them in my mind next time. :)
고맙습니다!


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