Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Which of the inventions in the twenty-first century has been the most significant for the world? Why


galloneg 1 / 1  
Jan 9, 2021   #1

Covid-19 vaccine



In this day and age, the worst enemies in the World are the virus, cause they are not visible, unknown and dangerous.
For example, since 2020, we have been fighting against a virus called Covid-19, that it took almost 100000 deaths only in Italy.
since its apperance, every country have been trying to make a vaccine in order to stop spreading this outbreak.
Fortunately, a chemist farm, located in the UK, made a vaccine.
It is an important discovery for several reasons:

First of all, to safe our health. Many people contracted the sickness so the National Health System NHS has been overwhelmed.
Early, IN March and IN April in 2020, we were in darkness, it was very difficult to take under control this virus, we had almost 800 deaths per day.

Several laboratories and universities, such as Pfizer, Moderna, Oxford University and so on, worked to find a vaccine.

Secondly, to safe our economy. Government decided to start a National lockdown, consequently, every no essential shops and offices must have been closed and nobodies mustn't have gone out from home without permission, that to avoid gathering of people and to spread the virus. It was a financial disaster for many families and activities.

Thirdly, to save the human race. In my book, although we have had the other pandemics in the past, for example, Malaria, Cholera, SARS , Spanish flu and ADIS, we survived, but, if the virus should carry on spreading among people without vaccine, human race will disappear .

Thus, it is fair to conclude that we must rather make medical research (to fight the other sickness) than make weapons.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Jan 9, 2021   #2
Your discussion presentation is too confusing for the native English reader. You are referring to the enemy of the world, rather than an invention that is significant. Then you said that the UK made a Covid-19 vaccine. That is an incorrect reference as the UK did not invent the vaccine. Almost every progressive country in the world has developed their own vaccine. To say that the UK invented it is incorrect. You show a lack of knowledge regarding current events at this point. The presentation is based on faulty information and even faultier sentence structures. The grammar throughout the essay is so bad, it is difficult for a native English speaker / reader to understand what you are trying to say.

The uneven information presentation, specifically when it comes to the development of the Covid vaccine created an essay that lacks authoritative presentations. First you claimed the UK invented the vaccine, then you said several labs developed it. Which is it?

I believe you are trying to respond to a Task 2 prompt. However, you lack the basic understanding of the English language with which to create understandable simple sentences. You must go and learn the English basics first stemming from the structure of the simplest English sentences, before you try and express yourself in an English essay. This type of essay presentation will deliver a failing score to you in an actual test based on the following reasons:

- Lack of idea development
- lack of organizational features
- lack of control over word usage and word formation
- Errors in sentence formation and grammar usage create incoherent sentence and paragraph formations

You may also use these errors to help you study the rudiments of English writing as is necessary.
OP galloneg 1 / 1  
Jan 9, 2021   #3
Thanks so much for your suggests.


Home / Writing Feedback / Which of the inventions in the twenty-first century has been the most significant for the world? Why
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳