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Inventors and doctors, both are important to our society and both are play their role wisely.


Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Do you agree with this statement?

Now a days, people are discussing about the inventors and doctors. Inventors are very important for our society, whereas doctors play vital role to cure us when we feel ill.

Firstly, inventors are play an enormous role in the society. Inventors are work had and invented new useful think such as computer, mobile phone and TV. These are the important inventions done by the inventors for the society and people are using it in their routine life; and they are rely on it. Inventors always finds the way to make the thinks easier to accomplish the work in easiest way by the inventions. However, inventors always helps to the doctors as well such as X-ray machine.

Secondly, doctors play important role in our society, to keep people well whenever they feel ill. If someone feel they are not feeling good and their health not allows them to fit and healthy, that time people confidently visit the hospital to expect to cure them by the doctor.

In nutshell, inventors and doctors, both are important to our society and both are play their role wisely in the society.

Hi
Just some simple errors:
now a days=>nowadays
people are discussing=>people discuss
the inventors and doctors=>inventors and doctors
play vital role=>play a vital role
inventors are play an enormous role=>inventors play a crucial role
Inventors are work had=> ? Inventors work hard
and invented=>and invent
useful think=>useful things
...
I am not a professional grader but I think you need to read more essay samples (I have to do it too :))))
Keep practicing because I believe you can.
try to read many sample answer, it will help us to learn new vocabulary and gain our ideas
Thank you for valuable inputs to correct this essay, would like to request you please let me know, is this essay have any choherence problem?
Hi Ram, if you ask about coherence problem, I can see that it is indeed problematical. Your grammatical inaccuracies made the paragraphs incoherent. Therefore, I would like to give you corrections regarding to the second and the third paragraph, and I hope you can learn valuable lesson by considering my feedback.

2nd paragraph:
- Firstly, inventors are play an enormous role in the society.
- Inventors are work had and inventedwork really hard by inventing many valuable inventions,new useful think such as computer, mobile phone and TV.
- These are the important inventions done by the inventors for the society, and people are usinguse it in their routine lifedaily routines in which people really dependent on it.; and they are rely on it.

- Inventors always findsfind thatthe way to make the thinks easier to accomplish the work in easiest way by the inventions.everything looks easier to be accomplished by using their inventions.

- However, inventors do not work alone . They always help to the doctors as well such asby inventing X-ray machine.

3rd paragraph:
- Secondly, doctors play important role in our society by curing the disease of their patients, to keep people well whenever they feel ill.
- If someone feel that they are not feeling good and their health not allows them to fit and healthy are unhealthy, that time people he or she confidently visits the hospital to expect to cure them by the doctor can cure them .

As seen, there were many grammatical inaccuracies that have been corrected. I hope you can follow through :)
Hi, thanks for your feedback :)

Would like to ask you one question to clear my doubt in the following sentence:

@ichanpants89

Firstly, inventors are play an enormous role in the society.

It may be silly question, why are should not be a part of the sentence?

Please help me.
Sorry for not explaining that part clearly. I thought that you have already understood about that one. It is actually a simple explanation.

Simple present tense formula:
(General truth / habitual action)
Subject + V1(s/es) + Object + Complement
Inventors play an important role in the society.

Adding 'are' makes the sentence incorrect.
Hy, Ram.
It is a great chance to give some suggestions for your essay.
Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Do you agree with this statement?
This a quite interesting issue to discuss, thus you could give more argumentation.
The noticeable one is I don't found your thesis statement. It is imperative to mention it in your introduction, thesis statement, and restate in conclusion.

That's all for you (:
Hi Ram, glad to read your essay. Here some suggestion for you

if you ask about coherence, coherence is how you deliver your idea in a logical way, so first of all in my opinion, you should compare the urgency both role inventor and doctor since the question ask you to agree or not with the statement. or if you want to say they have equal role then you have to explain more about their relation.

second paragraph

These are the important inventions done by the inventors for the society and people are using it in their routine(you can give an example about how dependence people on computer or phone, so reader can imagine if there are no inventor, humans's life will get difficult, rather than only mention it without no explanation or an example) life; and they are rely on it. Inventors always finds the way to make the thinks easier to accomplish the work in easiest way(you can explain this in the previous sentence by an example or explanation, since the meaning closes similar, so there is no redudancy )

Keep on writing, cheers
Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Do you agree with this statement?

HI Ram Dev, i guess you need an intensive training how to deal with IELTS writing task 2 and grammatical issue as well.
Here I try my best to rewrite your essay without conclusion.

Both inventors and doctors are the most essential party for human welfare. While inventors try to devise a new breakthrough benefited by society, the doctors help citizens overcome health problems they suffered. This essay will claim that inventors play an important role as doctors have since what they create is widely utilized by more inhabitants and their inventions try to solve the novel problems not being cope with.

Needless to say, the new inventions made by the inventor has more merits for societies. This is because they never created discoveries which do not have any advantages for global interest. Taking Alexander Graham Bell, a bulb inventor, as an example, when this priceless electrical light devised, many societies did not live in dark room and even human activities can be held in the evening. However, many works conducted by the inventors are proved useless and waste much more money.

Apart from the previous discussion, it is argued that inventors work in intention to overcome unsolved problems encountered by humans. This is due to the fact that the invention is conducted with the principal to find solution and offer a new way in dealing with difficult problems faced by humans. For example, Now medical expert and scientist are in effort to invent any curable vaccines to cope with HIV aids which has been known as the most dangerous killer disease in human lives. In reverse, many invention made in scientific world are in purpose to create any viruses to take advantages.


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