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IELTS TASK II : Inventors are not as important to society as doctors ?


aryaayra 7 / 19 2  
Apr 23, 2014   #1
Hello Buddies, please give me your corrections concerning my writing below.. :D

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Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Inventors, researches, scientists, and doctors are worth people in which give great impacts on what they did as the contributions for the public. However, in society sight Doctors are more important than other professions, I agree with this issue.

To begin with, as the modern people, we literally appreciate what inventors created in the past which had been given advantages for the public (science inventions for daily activity). In my view, we cannot get separated from theirs inventions, because theirs we can learn and use the discoveries as our knowledge and also can apply in our activities. For instance, Thomas Alfa Edison, a man who found lamp, this incredible invention already has been shining our universe,help humans doing from the darkness since dozen centuries ago till this time.

However, nowadays we do not need enough their inventions anymore, because we have the new inventions as our alternative way such 'Salt can be replaced Fuel as an energy resource'. The common problem for the people in recently years is about healthy, which in several countries they don't have the number of doctors enough to help their citizens. As an example, India, is the second highest of human population, they force the youth to have deeply education, especially on science. Their datum show that the forth-of-hundred rates of societies lives in unhealthy.Therefore, the doctors are more important thing that they must produce of their human resources.

In a nutshell, both of Inventors and Doctors have own figures, but this time the doctors are more needed by humans in order to aid people who are in an emergency for getting the cure.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Apr 23, 2014   #2
this incredible invention already has been shining our universe,help humans doing from the darkness since dozen centuries ago till this time.

... this is quite confusing

Such invention bring vast benefit for human life. The light bulb which Edison made bring a brighter life to the citizen after centuries darkness living.
OP aryaayra 7 / 19 2  
Apr 28, 2014   #3
You say that you agree with the statement that doctors are more important. But in your first body para you talk about the other side of the issue and support it :(

I did not really answer the questions wanted.. :'(
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 28, 2014   #4
Hello Arya,
It's one of the new prompt in IELTS writing task 2. The question has an emphasis only on "extent do you agree." So, It has different method with agree-disagree. In the first body, you explain the other side of agree statement and i think that it's wrong. In this case, you should focus on explaination of agree statement. Perhaps you can rewrite this essay. Good luck...!

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Samantha1111 1 / 3  
Apr 28, 2014   #5
appreciate what inventors have created in the past which hasbeengiven brought advantages for to the public (science inventions for daily activity). this needs to be rephrased


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