Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

TOEFL: invest in infrastructure and physical plant V.S. invest in keeping the faculty satisfied

diligentwriter 3 / 3  
Sep 20, 2017   #1
It is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

invest more on faulty

It is no doubt that two of most important elements of a successful university are good infrastructure and good faculty. It is always a problem how to make to the best use of school budget. Some people think universities should focus on physical facility because it allows students to learn more efficiently. However, I consider it is more important to keep faculty happy than to upgrade infrastructure and physical plants.

While advanced and high-tech facilities make students easy to learn, human capital plays vital role of students' learning. Image even though a school has the latest computers, it is just a waste of money if no one knows how to use them. Contrastingly, well-trained faulty can teach students well without having the best facility. Moreover, I think it is meaningless for a university to build a lot of new buildings. The reason is that students are able to keep using the same building for a long time. Many buildings at well-known universities have been using over one hundred years.

In addition, it is important to keep good professors at universities. In my point of view, professors are the greatest asset of a university instead of facility. Most students are not attracted by wonderful facility but by famous professors. In Taiwan, universities often pay famous professors a big amount of money to keep them at school, and high school students choose their top university based on teachers. Therefore, universities are better to invest more on faculty.

Last but not least, keeping faculty satisfied makes them enthusiastic and motivated on teaching. Except for decent salary, universities can do a lot for letting their faulty happy, like renting them cheap apartments. By doing so, teachers are able to push more effort of teaching without worrying other annoying stuffs. Eventually, it enables students to receive high quality of education.

In short, universities are supposed to invest more on faulty because good faulty is able to offer more profits and advantages to universities.

This is my first post. Please give me some advice. Many thanks!!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,594 3760  
Sep 20, 2017   #2
Sheanen, the next time you post the original prompt, kindly post the complete prompt instructions. What you posted here is only a partial representation of the original prompt as the first half of the discussion instruction is missing. Without the full prompt, I cannot accurately review your essay for prompt responsiveness and accuracy. In the meantime, I would like to call your attention to some general problems in your presentation.

For starters, in the opening statement, you cannot begin your discussion regarding your opinion at the end of the paragraph. You can only imply that you will be discussing your personal opinion as supported by reasons and examples specific to the discussion. This is the golden rule of the opening statement paraphrase. You cannot begin the discussion in the opening statement due to the lack of sentence allotment. The evidence and opinion must be presented in the succeeding body paragraphs instead.

As the prompt instructions are not complete, I am not sure if you should really be discussing the topic in a contrasting manner. There is nothing in the prompt that you posted which justifies such a discussion. Therefore, you may not have discussed the paragraph properly. However, in the event that you did discuss it in the manner expected, then the contrasting opinion should have been discussed as a separate paragraph in the next line. Each paragraph must have only one topic for discussion each. You have 3 body of paragraphs within which you can discuss 3 reasons or supporting statements for your opinion.

Your concluding statement is inaccurate. You need to provide a proper summary of the discussion along with a closing sentence. This paragraph is normally composed of 3 sentences, not one line because you cannot prove your GRA skills in any paragraph with only one sentence. That goes against the C&C requirement of a complete paragraph presentation in the essay.
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 102  
Oct 8, 2017   #3
Hi, I try to make some corrections for you.

... the latest computers and it is just a waste of ...

--- you need a conjunction to correct the run-on sentence.

It There is no doubt ...

... how to make to the best use ...

... focus on physical facilities because it allows ...
--- "facility" is a countable noun

... human capital plays a vital role ...

... students well without having the best facility.

... universities have been using used over ...

Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL: invest in infrastructure and physical plant V.S. invest in keeping the faculty satisfied