Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Island map - summaries the information and make comparisons where relevant


vukhoa 1 / -  
May 7, 2021   #1

Description of an island - before and after development



Two maps depict an island and compare the two points in time before and after the construction of several tourist facilities.
Before construction, the expansive island was pristine with a few trees and nothing else. There is a small beach next to the island, but it does not meet safety standards for swimming.

After the construction of some tourist facilities, the island has considerable change. They rearrange some trees due to make vacant land for the construction. Many accommodations are structured and arranged in a circle to facilitate travel by foot. There is a reception and a large restaurant to welcome and serve visitors. The visitors can swim on the beach because, after construction, the beach meets the safety standard for swimming. Tourist facilities also build a pier that connects the island with sailboats in the sea. The transportation system is quite convenient with footpath and vehicle tracking.

In conclusion, there are many changes after construction. It helps the island attracts visitors to visit and relax.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
May 8, 2021   #2
The task 1 essay does not require an analysis nor a conclusion. Therefore, the reference to safety standards should not be mentioned. The conclusion at the end of your writing Is not required. So your essay has 2 format errors that will immediately reduce your TA score. The summary overview is also problematic as the information sounds too much like a cut and paste of the image description from the original presentation.That will be an additional TA deduction as well. at this rate, your TA errors alone will be enough to possibly fail your final score.

You failed to also use the standard and required 3 paragraph presentation for the analysis. The reason this happened is because you did not provide the before renovation description of the island. That was supposed to have been the 2nd paragraph. It would have come after the summary overview. The 3 paragraph format should have been:

Par.1- Summary overview
Par.2 - Description of image 1
Par.3 - Description of image 2 with simple comparisons to image 1.

No conclusions or personal opinion needs be presented in this task as it is only a data reporting essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / Island map - summaries the information and make comparisons where relevant
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳