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Isolation of a country from their neighbors abroad can only cause issues in the long run


inform 8 / 21  
Jun 10, 2012   #1
Topic : Countries should not isolate themselves from the world, but instead engage other countries.

Hi please review my essay. Please point all my mistakes and suggest me some more ideas. I am lacking with ideas which restricts my writing in a limited time. Thanks a lot.

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Some might feel that one country should isolate itself from the others' so that they are not disturbed by the negative happenings in their neighborhood. However, in my view, every country should engage each other in many activities. This will be beneficial for both the countries in a number of ways. They are new technology, trade relations and information exchange.

To begin with, new technology would be available to the countries. The most important one is outsourcing of work which can benefit both the countries. The country who outsources a part of their work could concentrate on new inventions rather then worrying about maintaining existing ones for their customers. Also, the country, to whom work is assigned could provide job to the non working people . This would also allow them to acquire knowledge in the current technology. For example, US companies have outsources their work on past technology to India so that they can work on future technology. This has also benefitted Indians in expanding their knowledge.

In addition, countries will benefit from trade relations. Trade is the backbone of the country as it provides opportunity for both the countries to sell their resources. It also brings in foreign exchange to both of them in turn improving their currency exchange rates in the world. For example, US and China has opened their countries for trade which has allowed both the countries to sell their products. Large market for the companies has even helped them in reducing the cost as they can manufacture items in bulk.

Moreover, countries can exchange information. There is lot of information available in every country. Without working together it is not possible to use this. For example, the most important one is criminals running out to other countries for hiding. Although countries are strict and do not allow such people in their land but they are reluctant in taking forceful actions for their countrymen. However, countries with good relations will find out those criminals and allow the other country to punish them. For example, US army was allowed in Pakistan to get access to the criminals. This would not have been possible without effective relationship between the countries.

Finally, I believe countries could remain isolated but this will cause issues in the long run. As it will not provide new technology , increased trade relations and effective information exchange between the countries. Hence, engaging countries is a win-win situation for both of them.

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aponiiik 1 / 3  
Jun 10, 2012   #2
I attached an edited version of your paper. I think you have great ideas, but your paper could be organized a bit better. Try outlining your ideas first and base your paper off of that. I think that could help.


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dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 11, 2012   #3
Some might feel that onea country should isolate itself from the others' so that they are not disturbed by the negative happenings in their neighborhood. ------ great sentence ! :)

However, in my view, every country should engage each others in many activities. This will be beneficial for bothall the countries in a number ofmany ways. They aresuch as sharing new technology, trade relations and information exchange. ----------------- Very impressive introduction... lots of good ideas and you tell the reader clearly about your view on this argument
EF_Susan - / 2,365 12  
Jun 14, 2012   #4
I would suggest starting with an opening statement that is more "attention grabbing" and clarifying your first paragraph all together.
This second paragraph is very well written :)
Moreover, countries can exchange information. There is lot of information available in every country. Without working together it is not possible to use this. For example, the most important one is criminals running outevading legal issues by escaping to other countries for hiding.

Finally, I believe countries could remain isolated but this will cause issues in the long run.this previous sentence needs a bit of clarification and you should be clear on your opinion. Also, it will be helpful to "finalize" your last sentence, just to round things out a little better. Good luck!--


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