Essay below is from GRE Pool. Please comment on it... actually this is my 3rd issue essay (un-timed) and I'm looking for feedback, and places where i can improve.
Thanks in Advance.
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ISSUE Topic:"Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music, film, advertising, and television because contemporary culture has much greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past."
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I disagree with the author's conclusion that Colleges and universities should offer additional courses in contemporary Culture than in arts and literature of the past. Author further talks about the "relevance" of the art and literature, and how it holds against contemporary culture of today, which raises multitude of concerns of how contemporary culture becomes more relevant than the art and history of yesterday.
Some famous author stated "one who do not learn from history, tends to repeat itself." Art and History knowledge is essentially important and by adding additional courses in Contemporary Culture will distract students from the importance of Art and History of our culture. Basically, Art and History defines who we are, how we are here, and what it took us to be here to be a part of contemporary culture. By being ignorant of what was the driving force behind the growth of our culture, society, and the medium we live in, we would not be able to enjoy and be proud of what we are today. Art and History of Past has been studies exhaustively and documented in text books for us to understand and to drive us forward, however Contemporary culture is still evolving and has its equal importance to drive it forward and with proper knowledge of past it would enable us to drive it forward in much relevent way. In short by learning from the mistakes done in the past, we can provide a driving force for the future.
We all have been derived from past, and decide our future from the mistakes we did, saw or learned in past and prevent it from repeating it in future. Contemporary Culture versus Art and History of Past are both so much related that it get to the modern time statement of "Chicken and Egg, who came first". So our current culture is defined by our past which defines our history. The work we did in past, now kept in museums to inspire people to achieve more and achieve greater heights. It is extremely difficult to state that Contemporary Culture need to focused more at the cost of forgetting the past, because our past defines our future. For example: We watch classic play of Sheksphere today, and admire the thoughtful process that was constructed in it thousands of years back. We define modern time movies on these play and admire them more. How can we admire them if we do not know the history.
Students in Colleges and Universities, should be focused on additional subjects relating to the fields of science and math which will help how modern time healthcare system will be defined or next generation space travel would be defined. All these Modern tools comes from knowledge of past and improvising on the techniques adopted in past to achieve a nearly perfect situation and to create History for tomorrow.
Finally to conclude, Authors argument that Colleges and Universities offering additional courses in Contemporary Culture rather than Art and Literature of past and its relevance in current educational system would be justified, as students of tomorrow needs to know how things in past have evolved to define the future.
which raises a multitude of concerns about how contemporary culture becomes more relevant than the art and history of yesterday.
Well, the reason it can be more relevant is that it is what is being created now and it reflects events that are happening now. I think you should add one more sentence to the first paragraph so that you can make your thesis very clear. Write a sentence that says exactly what you mean.
Some famous author stated "one who do not learn from history, tends to repeat itself."
It's Edmund Burke. You can google the expression and read about him.
Don't capitalize unnecessarily:
Finally to conclude,
author's argument that co lleges and...
and one more correction here:
...as students of tomorrow need to know how things in past have evolved to determine the future.
