Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

GRE issue essay: Should the foundation of education be based on morality or logical reasoning?


justooridoori 3 / 2 3  
Apr 16, 2016   #1
PROMPT: Some people believe that teaching morality should be the foundation of education. Others believe that teaching a foundation of logical reasoning would do more to produce a moral society.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented above.

***

We need to apply both logical reasoning and morality in education but we should base education more on the foundation of logical reasoning because morality can be supported through critical thinking and evidence. Throughout history, we have demonstrated the importance of how logical thinking can produce a moral society through our court system to decide on issues, higher thinking to advance human life and technology.

In the national court system, everyone in a court case demonstrates critical thinking skills to decide what will be the logical choice for an issue. If the people involved in murder case did not use evidence, such as the people involved, the setting, photos, and more details to solve a case, the case would be based on bias and superficial reasoning. People use reason to decide whether the defendant is found guilty and we also decide court rulings based on critical thinking and listening to other people's perspectives. This is how moral decisions are made in the court system by listening to other people's observation and their analysis of the case.

Additionally, higher thinking helps human race and technology to advance in society. The recent project to occupy mars demonstrate individuals that use logical reasoning and science to hopefully have people live in another planet. Logical reasoning, with the combine efforts of science and perseverance demonstrate that we are not just thinking about being a moral person in society but now people are doing moral works for the future of human society.

However, it is not safe to just dismiss morality in education because we need to practice morality with logical reasoning in learning. For example, it is logically sound for us to test and experiment to produce results, but we need to test based on ethical standards. We do not want to test animals and human lives at the risk of developing a new product. If we do not use ethical measures we are undoing logical reasoning because one's life being used at the stake of a project that may or may not work.

In sum, it is important to base the foundation of education on logical reasoning. We have been using logic to advance society and even for the good of society.

***
I wrote this essay under timed conditions. Please give me feedback! (and how would you score it on the GRE scale 0-6) THANK YOU!

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Apr 17, 2016   #2
Stacy, even though I have never taken any GRE test before, I would like to try to assess your essay based on GRE score level descriptions. First of all, I notice that your essay is understandable and adequately presented both views of the prompt. I like the way you develop and supports main points in each paragraph, which it also sounds logic for me. Then, you have demonstrated good control of sentences although there are still minor grammatical errors. Fortunately, your errors do not interfere the meaning of the sentence. Yet, your example about mars, for me was not really persuasive, because it was too far I guess. Here's what I've found:

- The recent project to occupy mars demonstrate demonstrates...
- because one's life is being ....

Therefore, I would like to say that this essay is worth somewhere between 4.5 and 5.0.

However, if you want to reach the maximum score (5.5 - 6.0), I think you are still lack of some points which described in the ETS.org below:

Sustains insightful, in-depth analysis of complex ideas; develops and supports main points with logically compelling reasons and/or highly persuasive examples; is well focused and well organized; skillfully uses sentence variety and precise vocabulary to convey meaning effectively; demonstrates superior facility with sentence structure and language usage, but may have minor errors that do not interfere with meaning.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Apr 20, 2016   #3
Hi Stacy, this is yet another well written argument you have here, you were able to make yout point from the very beginning of the essay, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, base on English language usage and how it used in your essay, I say 8.5 for this essay. This is because, the last two paragraphs that you have towards the end of the essay, is not as strong as the beginning of the essay itself. Consistency, not only in writing, but in everything you do, is key to success.

Having said that, I would like to share my thoughts on the last 2 paragraphs of your essay;

- need to practiceobserve morality
- For example,( an example will not be appropriate in this part of the essay, more likely, a conclusion should showcase your final thoughts of the prompt and not an example )

- I t is logically sound
- want to testput animals
- at the risk ofin developing
- are undoingnot practicing logical
- one's life is being used
- at the stakein the hand of a

- In sumoverall , it is important
- advance in the society.and even for the good of society. ( this phrase is not necessary. Stacy, for future writing reference mind your sentence construction, make sure that the sentences you create, expresses your ideas and not just formed for the sake the length of the essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / GRE issue essay: Should the foundation of education be based on morality or logical reasoning?