I tried my hand at an Issue Essay from the Manhattan 5lb practice booklet for GRE study.
I spent the allotted 30 mins, if anybody has any GRE grading experience or better GRE essay writing experience I'd greatly appreciate a critique and review of what I wrote. It was literally my first practice essay and I wasn't able to get much in.
I'm looking for constructive and blunt criticism.
Thank you in advance.
If two applicants for a job are otherwise equally qualified, the job should go to the applicant with more experience.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the specific circumstances in which adopting the position would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Imagine sitting in your living room and you notice a horrible stain on your beautiful new carpet. It took you 3 long months to save, search, and install it all by yourself; and now, it is ruined. While contemplating grabbing a can of club soda and a towel, you see on the television an advert for carpet cleaning company with 10 years of experience, but you do remember your best friend from collage now runs a success carpet cleaning business locally. How are you to decide on the business to choose in taking care of your precious new fabric? Just like this decision, the one between 2 potential employees both suited for a position in any industry, would most likely come down to whomever has the most knowledge in the field at hand.
It easy to pick a person that has the more experience but what if that experience isn't exactly in the direction you need it to be focused in or have the potential to lead to outcomes you want from said hiring. On a larger scale 2 such individuals fit within this context. Bill Gates and Steve jobs both started a computer company in their early years together, both having started at the same time and both grown into huge computing experience are equally qualified to handle any computer based project. The interesting of these two candidates is that they both also have equally balanced experience levels. Its only when we look closer at the 2 outside of the scope of their work that you find what makes them different from each other. Steve Jobs, though having years of experience in computers is more focused in the art of computing, while Bill Gates having just as much experience in the same field is the individual with the focus in computing as a logic.
The case of selecting an applicant for a job; as history has told before, might not be for the person with the more experience. It was only at the age of 21 that architecture student Mia Lin won the international design competition to design the Vietnam War memorial in Washington DC. The project was open to all architecture and design firms from New York City to Tokyo. Despite all the experience of the applicants; for what is now known as an iconic work of architecture, a young student with almost no professional experience triumphed over the rest.
It is an interesting paradox. In most cases the deciding factor between two likely candidates for a job would be the more experienced, but in some very rare occasions the less experience is the more desirable. Experience is always the key to success in business and management, but we shouldn't forget the quote of prolific architect Mies Van der Rohe, "Less is More".
The interesting of these two candidates is that they both also have equally balanced experience levels. Its only when we look closer at the 2 outside of the scope of their work that you find what makes them different from each other.
The remarkable thing to consider here is their experience level that looks alike apparently but differ as per their center of interest in the computers.
Steve Jobs, though having years of experience in computers is more focused in the art of computing, while whereas Bill Gates having just as much with the same experience in the same field is the individual with the has its main focus in computing as a logic.
...that architecture architect student Mia Lin won.... was open to all architecture architects and design firms from ...
Your examples and reasoning are great but you can improve on the coherence of the essay .
