Hello. Can someone give me any feedback on this essay for the GRE AW section?
Men and women, because of their inherent physical differences, are not equally suited for many tasks.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
It is probable that no subject during the current culture wars is discussed as broadly as gender equality. Even though some radical feminists argue that men and women should do exactly the same things based on the democratic principle of equality, many biological and empirical evidence suggests otherwise, and proves that in order to organize a more efficient society, specialization between genders is the best way to go. I definitely agree that men and women are not suited for many tasks, if we want to achieve the highest utility possible as a species. There are several arguments to support this idea, but I would like to discuss the two of them that stand out.
The first argument, is evolutionary. Men and women are biologically different and evolution has given each gender a different set of aptitudes in order for the preservation of the species to continue. Men are stronger, as an inheritance of the males who used to go and hunt for food, whereas women have keen senses in order to detect the needs and desires of the offsprings. This organization of labor achieved more effective results for primitive societies as a whole, and they still have a profound impact on how contemporary societies distribute their responsibilities. Consequently, men are more proficient with physical activities, and women are more able to perform intelectual tasks. In this sense, evolution has played a huge part in defining the apex of each genders capabilities.
The second reason is based on empirical evidence. It is a fact that men are better than women at some activities, and women are better at others. Sports are disciplines where this situation is more obvious. For example, men have better records than women on olympic weightlifting; in contrast, women always have better scores at disciplines such as fencing. In this sense, it is clear that each gender excels at some activities, and this has to be noted, in order to extrapolate the results to many other human activities such as family raising and labor organization.
Lastly, even though many people label the separations stated above segregationist or disrespecting womens freedom to choose, it shouldnt be taken that way. Men and women have the freedom to do whatever they want, but proficiencies have to be recognized in order to achieve better results as a whole community. Equality is not promoted by hiding the fact that we are different, but as Mandela said, by embracing the fact that we do have differences, and the richness of our society is actually measured by how we respect and let them thrive in a plural and tolerant society.
Thank you very much ! Amazing feedback, it enhances the essay and gives me some words I could use when writing the actual one (because I've noticed that even with different subjects, I always write using basically the same structure and words).
I also noticed that when I did the copy-paste it ate the apostrophes.
Finally, I don't understand the "promises" you added on the second post. I don't seem to be getting the idea of the word and how you're using it.
Regards.
