I would appreciate if someone rate this TOEFL essay.****Do you agree with the following statement? In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else?****
why individuality is important
It is undeniable that we live in a world in which all people strive to become successful in various aspects and become proud of themselves. The issue of whether in order to be a successful person, you should be more like others, or be different from them arouses much controversy among people with different backgrounds and perspectives. When it comes to me, I, at least for two reasons, go with those who believe that being different from other people rises the probability of being successful. In what follows, I make my reasons clear.
The most important point to substantiate my standpoint is that to become successful, you should be able to do something valuable. Only those things are considered as valuable ones that a few people have or are able to do. To put in general words, scarcity of everything rises its value. For the purpose of illustration, take my father's experience as an example. My father has been a teacher since forty years ago. In the past, as he was the only teacher and the only literate man of our village, he received more respect from people and was considered as a successful man. In contrast, nowadays, as the teachers' number increases over time, people's respect toward my father decreases. I can conclude from this experience that in order to become successful you have to be different from others and do what they cannot.
Another noteworthy point supporting this opinion is that majority people are ordinary ones, and only a few people who are better than others and different form them is considered as successful one. Basically, being successful is defined as how much you are better than others. For instance, two thousand years ago, people in Greak used to work at farmlands and knew nothing about science. At that time, Aristotle started to research about science and introduced it to people. Even though facts that Aristotle found out were nothing compared with the current knowledge of the human, but he is considered as a scholar and a successful man, because he was far better than the people lived in that time. The fact that Aristotle was different from other people led him to be assumed as a successful.
According to the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that in order to be considered as a successful person you have to be different from others, because not only does your value become more, but also being successful is defined as being exceptional and having difference from others.