Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

The issue whether punishments for crime should be fixed to judge each crime individually or not

KarenDo 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2018   #1

Essay about discussing both views and giving own opinion

Hi, here my essay about "Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discussing both views and giving your opinion." Can you give me some feedback? Thanks.

It is widely known that crime has been arousing people around the world's concern. As a matter of fact, it is a controversial issue of whether punishments for crime should be fixed to judge each crime individually or not. Therefore, the objecting of the following essay is to elaborate both conflicting views. As far as I am concerned, I side with the former statement.

There is no denying that fixed punishments to different sorts of crime are the profound contribution to reducing criminals due to a variety of reasons. Firstly, by enacting the fixed laws in order that criminals committing in the same kind of crime can be treated equally, people from the power can advance a better society with a fair justice system. In other words, it, thus, is capable of ensuring that any criminals will neither be discriminated nor get offended by the public. Another point which should be cited is that a strict fixed punishment plays an indispensable role in giving a deterrent in turning a would-be offender due to the heavy general penalty for a specialized crime. Above all else, it is essential for any judges to detect the criminals in the more efficient approach with distinct precise penalizing each crime. As a result, fixed penalties benefits in a diversity of aspects.

Having said that, the arguments provided above can also be considered from the opposite angle, the decision of sentencing criminals is aligned with specific circumstances hidden behind. As a justification, the primary one is the humankind. In simple terms, in some cases that the crime has not been done in an attempt or the culprit is not the real wrongdoer or investigated in depth. For instance, rebellious youngster mostly committing in crime in terms of heavy educational burdens or being enticed by other criminals, and the laws with the tougher investigation into motivation and individual will give the offenders incentive to back to life. After all, the given view also has advantages.

In conclusion, there are both aspects considered with diverse merits and causes. Nevertheless, I strongly stay a notion on a view of fixed punishments for a single type of crime.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15048 4830  
Nov 19, 2018   #2
Dokhanh, I could not even continue reading your essay past the second paragraph because the incoherence was overpowering your writing. You are so wordy and not in a good way that the essay is saying a lot of things, without actually having any coherent meaning or message to each sentence or paragraph. You are more focused on your Lexical Resource representation, which does not do anything good for your essay because simply writing a long essay that does not make any sense will not help you pass this test.

Your paragraphs are mostly composed of run-on sentences which contributed to the lack of clarity and cohesive thought process in the presentation. Your desire to use as many English words as possible, rather than focusing on useful English words to create your sentences further added to the confusing discussion paragraphs. Your essay would fail on an overall consideration in an actual test.

Do not write any more practice essays at this point. It would be better if you first educate yourself about how to write coherently in English. You can do that by reading the sample essays here in relation to various Task 2 prompts which would help you get a better idea of how to properly present these essay discussions. Increase your English sentence composition exercises to help you write in coherent but short sentences. Those are the types of sentences that will help you score better later on.

Home / Writing Feedback / The issue whether punishments for crime should be fixed to judge each crime individually or not
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳