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Japan: special interest/passion+ how you have developed knowledge in these area?


wn2870 2 / 8  
Jul 27, 2011   #1
Hello! this is a 200 word essay. Can you give me any advice?

Japanese music has been the biggest passion of my life from elementary school. Since then, learning Japanese language has become a part of my daily life as I felt a desire to figure out the meaning of lyrics. Songs with cultural feeling that is distinctly Japanese dominated my adolescence.

To better understand the cradle of Japanese music, I continued to travel across Japan: Fukuoka in 2005, Osaka in 2009, and Tokyo in 2010. Although I had to scrimp and save all year for the travel, it was worth every penny; I was able to experience a unique culture, make dear friends, and see one of the greatest artists that i admired for years in person.

Also, to introduce life-changing masterpieces to all over the world, I've been uploading dozens of Japanese music videos with lyrics translated to English on Youtube. Striving to improve my English ability has been ceaseless to translate lyrics retaining the linguistic subtleties. I will continue to introduce Japanese music all over the world while in college and thereafter.

aleafsun 9 / 19  
Jul 27, 2011   #2
This is a nice article to me, by which I can get a picture how much you like Japanese music.

There is just a little suggestion. In the second paragraph, to emphasize you have traveled to Japan for several times, I will use "I have been traveling across Japan for several times" instead of "I continued to travel..."

Thank you~
OP wn2870 2 / 8  
Jul 27, 2011   #3
Thank you very much!! aleafsun
csv8674xn 2 / 1  
Jul 28, 2011   #4
Here is some suggestions for you.

First sentence can be simpler which result in a stronger beginning.

You can try adding more details in the second paragraph. It may help the paragraph be more impressive.

Also, to introduce life-changing masterpieces to all over the world the world

I will continue to introduce Japanese music all overto the world while studing in college and thereafter.

By the way, I'm also a big fan of Japanese music. So, thanks for your translation!
OP wn2870 2 / 8  
Jul 29, 2011   #5
Thanks csv8675xn! Your advices were really helpful :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 30, 2011   #6
Songs with cultural feeling that is distinctly Japanese dominated my adolescence.

Is this the main idea of the essay? I like to put a sentence at the end of the first paragraph that will express the main idea of the essay.

It would also be nice to see a sentence that tries to express in words what it is that you enjoy about Japanese music. Can you put it into words?
OP wn2870 2 / 8  
Jul 30, 2011   #7
Thanks Kevin! I should try it.


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