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IELTS: Japanese tourists in Australia - numbers went from 0% to 6%


Mowonight 9 / 19 3  
Mar 29, 2014   #1
The presents charts show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad for the former one, and the Australia's share of japan's tourist market for the last one.

As a trend, the number of Japanese tourists going abroad had virtually quadrupled in 10 years. The number of Japanese going in Australia went to 0% to 6%.

More precisely, between the middle of the 80s and the 1990, the number of Japanese travelers abroad gradually rose from 5 to 11 millions. The 1991 year is marked by a small fall of half a million. In 92 and 93, this number remained steady. However during 1994 and 1995, there was a tremendous increase from 12 millions to above 15 millions.

Besides, the number of Japanese tourists in Australia started to 0% and climbed to 2% in 1985. The 3 next years, the curve gradually rose to 4.75% to collapse during 1988. Finally, a continuous increase of the rate from 1989 upwards. A small stagnation is noticeable in the year 1993.




eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 30, 2014   #2
You write well. I like the way you present that data. However, I have one question:

The number of Japanese going in Australia went to 0%

the number of Japanese tourists in Australia started to 0%

How do you presume that 0% is the part of data given?
OP Mowonight 9 / 19 3  
Mar 30, 2014   #3
How do you presume that 0% is the part of data given?

Oops you are right ! The version of the data I worked on was a bit different, it started from 0% and before 1985.

And wow, thanks for the compliment, that's really encouraging. :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 30, 2014   #4
Use these phrases to avoid repetition of words in your visual writing:
The number of = the figure for
Between 1985 and 1995 = From 1985 to 1995 = over a period of 10 years = in a decade

The presents charts show the number

The two charts provides information about the number...
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 30, 2014   #5
It's what I did no ? Or I least I tried to do...

Ok :D
Then leave a blank line in between those sections - I mean , Intro, Overview and the Body paras with details. :)

As a trend, the number of Japanese tourists going abroad had virtually quadrupled in 10 years. The number of Japanese going in Australia went to 0% to 6%.

Why I didn't find this as an overview is because in the overview you do not give data. It is the most obvious trends and observations of the graph. So, the above cannot be considered as an overview. Pay attention to the description of an overview;

2. Give an overview( state the main trend/ trends in the graph. Don't give detail such as data here)

Hope you got my point now :)


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