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IELTS Essay: About job assignment between men and women


BrookW 4 / 12  
Mar 26, 2011   #1
Topic: Males and females are different in many ways. Some jobs can be done by men, but other jobs are just suitable for women. Do you agree or disagree?

Overall, I disagree with the opinion expressed. Males and females do have many different characteristics in various aspects and behave differently in daily lives, but it doesn't mean that they have nothing in common in working environment.

Normally, both men and women can acquire the same abilities required in any jobs if they are trained in the appropriate ways. That's why most of the people usually have one or more colleagues of opposite sex. Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for females such as nurse or kindergarten teacher, due to women are more patient and careful than men. But we have to admit that many men are working as same as women in these areas since they may have the same ability or contribute in other aspects, like to carry patients on the back in emergency, or bring more active atmosphere to children.

Furthermore, with the rapid development of science and technology, the heavy physical jobs can be increasingly operated directly by modern machine, also majority of complicated logical calculation works can be handled by smart computing systems. While human are likely to pay more attention on monitoring and management in working environment in the future. So the physical and mental difference between males and females will affect much less on the assignment of jobs.

In conclusion, many jobs can be done by both men and women, although some jobs are covered mostly by women, but doesn't mean men can not be involved, and vice versa.

jco19 1 / 9  
Mar 27, 2011   #2
I've striked out the errors to be removed and bolded corrections.

Overall, I disagree with the opinion expressed. Males and females do have many different characteristics in various aspects and behave differently in daily lives, but it doesn't mean that they have nothing in common in the working environment.

Normally, both men and women can acquire the same abilities required in any jobs if they are trained in the appropriate ways . That's why most of the people usually have one or more colleagues of the opposite sex. Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for females such as a nurse or kindergarten teacher, due toas women are often more patient and careful than men. But we have to admit that many men are working asthe same as women in these areas since they may have the same ability or contribute in other aspects, likesuch asto carrying patients on the back in emergency (I'm not sure if you mean to say in an emergency, or in the emergency room, so you might want to clarify to make it clearer), or bringinga more active atmosphere to children.

Furthermore, with the rapid development of science and technology, the heavy physical jobs can be increasingly operated directly by modern machine, alsoand the majority of complicated logical calculation works can be handled by smart computing systems. While humans are likely to pay more attention on monitoring and management in working environment in the future. So the physical and mental difference between males and females will affect much less on the assignment of jobs. (you might want to reword this last sentence to make it flow better.)

In conclusion, many jobs can be done by both men and women. Although some jobs are covered mostly by women, but doesn'tit does not mean men cannot be involved, and vice versa.

Overall I think it is good, but I suggest working on your concluding sentences to make your point strong and clear to the reader. Try to avoid contractions as well. But overall it is good.

Hopefully this helps! Good luck. :)
OP BrookW 4 / 12  
Mar 27, 2011   #3
Hi Jco19,

Thank you very much for your comments, I'll follow that!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 29, 2011   #4
That's why most of the people usually have one or more colleagues of the opposite sex.

Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for females such as nurse or kindergarten teacher, due to women are more patient and careful than men. You can't say it this way. It seems to contradict your own argument. Do it like this:

Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for are more suitable for people with personality traits typically associated with women, such as patience and nurturing, but men can be patient and nurturing, too.

:-)
OP BrookW 4 / 12  
Mar 29, 2011   #5
Thanks Kevin, I got it!


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