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Job satisfaction. Is it possible to achieve this by all employees?


min0822 3 / 4 4  
Aug 13, 2019   #1

IELTS 2: job satisfaction



As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.

What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?


We spend the majority of our lives working, as a result, job satisfaction is acting an important role of our self-esteem. In this essay, I am going to discuss the factors that lead to job satisfaction and how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all of us.

In my opinion, job satisfaction attributes to salary, position, a sense of accomplishment, and the balance between work and life. First, although money can't buy you everything, most of the time you will be happy after spending money. People tend to feel more satisfied on their job when they have higher salary. Second, a higher position in a company makes people feel honored and proud. Third, a sense of accomplishment on work makes people feel excited and keep working hard. Last, striking the balance between work and life is a goal for many people. Therefore, it is another factor that contributes to job satisfaction.

Regarding to how realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction, I think that it is unrealistic because people usually have an ideal imagination in their minds. In this case, the expectation will be hard to achieve. However, we can always work harder and harder. With an ultimate goal, people will devote more effort and inspire their potential. For example, athletes sometimes set up harder achievements for themselves to push them perform over their limitations.

In conclusion, salary, position, a sense of accomplishment, and the balance between work and life are the factors related to job satisfaction. Furthermore, the expectation of job satisfaction is unrealistic to most people, but we can always have a long-term goal and try our best to attain it.

Maria [Contributor] - / 630 247  
Aug 13, 2019   #2
@min0822
Hi there. Welcome back here to the forum. I hope you find this feedback helpful for your writing endeavors.

Firstly, the introductory paragraph is quite messy because of the stretched out structure that requires a lot more precision. From the first sentence, you had already constructed a heavy paragraph that would make a reader have difficulty grasping the thesis statement of your work. Try working with simpler lines and compositions because of this.

You had committed a similar mistake in the second paragraph. Try to stick with simpler and smaller chunks of text to help you evade this issue.

The placement of example in the succeeding sentence also can be improved. If you add a concluding remark afterward, it would help improve your essay's overall outlook


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