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IELTS writing task 2: All jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robots eventually


lichien0422 5 / 8 3  
Jul 13, 2019   #1

human jobs to be overtaken by robots



Please feel free to advise. Thank you!

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

It is argued that most occupations will be replaced by artificial intelligent robots in the future. Although it is highly possible that only easy jobs will be substituted by robots, while the ones require human relations remain the same. The essay will discuss the reasons why only particular jobs will be done by machines.

Robots might eventually replace all tasks that do not require specific and complex human skills. A lot of companies will choose artificial intelligence over human labor due to the fact that is costs less than hiring, training and employing human. For instance, supermarkets in the UK have automatic machines set up to replace cashiers, which is less expensive. Moreover, robots do not require holidays. From above reasons, we know that some jobs will be replaced by robots.

Alternatively, there are some jobs that can never be replaced by robots since the skills required are irreplaceable. Robots will not be able to take over jobs that require humanity, which was being developed through every one's personal experience and interaction with other people growing up. Such as psychological consultants and professors and doctors. Robots will never achieve what took human being many thousands of years of evolution to achieve.

Some people believe it is very likely that jobs require human resource will be overtaken by robots. Whereas, jobs that require certain and complicated skills need human intelligence and efforts. Ultimately, it is clear that very less human jobs will be safe because of the increase of artificial intelligent robots from now on.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,047 372  
Jul 13, 2019   #2
@lichien0422
Hello there. I'll provide you with writing feedback on your writing.

Firstly, try to paraphrase your words to have a more appropriate tone in your language. This will help you curate an educational tone that'll be more appropriate for your overall structure.

Furthermore, your writing is quite put-together. The logical links were all present in the language, making the essay explicitly well-done. You were also able to integrate examples that helped the essay progress effectively.

Try to focus next time on creating shorter and more concise sentences. If you do this, you'll be able to have more space to curate long-form, meaningful essays.

Best of luck as always.
tinapakshad1 3 / 5 2  
Jul 14, 2019   #3
hiii
this was a quiet good essay but there were a few little errors that if you cover them that would make the best.
firstly your long sentences and using a verb more than twice is not a good way to go on with an essay.
secondly paraphrases were not accurately divided so the reader could get a little confused.
at the end i will say bravo to you again and wish you all the happiness in the world.


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