Topic : Some jobs can pay high salaries but require employees to leave their family and friends. Some jobs pay few salaries but allow employees staying with family and friend. Which job do you prefer? Why?
correcting my grammar in this essay and giving me some feedback,please. thank you :)
Here is my essay:
Considering the advantages and disadvantages, I prefer to the job that can pay high salaries but require employee to leave their family and friends. The reason is that the development of communication technologies enables us to communicate with our family and friend at anywhere. In addition, it is important for us to earn more money when we are young
First, with assistance of technologies, employees who live far apart from his naďve country can keep contact with his kinship. If employees miss their family and friends, they just have to open the webcam software. After that, they enjoy the great time of talking with people they loved. For example, I have a friend who has worked as lawyer in America. We miss each other because we are close friends since we were child. We used to share our life experience and gave some advices to solve problems of each other. When she went to America, I had worried about that I might not be used to the life without her. However, she comforted me and also tough me the method of using skype in order to communicate with her. Now we talk to each other everyday, likes she just stayed in my country with me. Thus, I consider that it is no matter that working in the place which far from native country because of the helps of communicating technologies.
Second, it is imperative for young people to earn more money. High salary is the guarantee of the quality of life. Especially for young employees without much working experience. Increasing the property gives the concrete objective for them to put their effort on. It will lead them to success. For example, John is a young man who grows up in the impoverished family. His greatest wish is to be a wealthy man and bring his family a good life. After he graduated from university, he accepted a job invitation that provided high salary but asked him to go to a foreign country which was remoted from his homeland. He accepted this job without hesitation because his purpose. After many years, he became a wealthy man and went back to his home immediately. He achieved his goal that makes his family live better, even though he had to leave his family and friends.
To sum up, I will choose the job which pay high salary but require to leave my family and friends. The fact is that there is no problem that be far away from family and friends with the help of communicate technologies. Moreover, money is important for us to do anything.
1. I prefer to the job that can pay high salaries but require employeerequires employees to leave their family and friends.
2. .....employees who live far apart from his naďve their native country can keep contact with his their kinship.
3. ...... they just have toneed to open the webcam software.
4. ....... I might not be used to the life without her.
5. ... far from native country because of the helps of communicating technologies.we can use the existence of technology.
Overall, you have to pay attention to subject verb agreement and the correlation between subject and pronoun. When you use employee for the subject, you can not replace it to use 'them' because 'them'
is for plural while employee is singular.
Keep writing.
..... friend at anywhere
gave some advices => advice is an uncountable noun
When she went to America, I had worried about that I might not be used to the life without hermissing her .
likes she just stayed in my country with me
just like she stayed in my country with me
it is nodoes not matter that working in the place
Increasing the property gives the concrete objective for them to put their effort on
their big desire to eliminating poverty makes them do much harder effort
hi....
... pay high salaries but require employeerequire employees to leave their family and
... The reason is that the development of communication technologies enables us to communicate with
.... Firstfirstly/the first , with assistance of (...) far apart from his naďtivenative country can keep ...
... I had worried about that I might not be used to the life without hemissing her.
.....likes she just stayed in my country with me (just like she stayed in my country with me)
... He achieved histhe goal that makes his family live better than before , even though he had ...
.. i suggest you to make your overall in first paragraph
