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Journal on The Ice Master as Bob Bartlett

Samuelsam123 12 / 46 20  
Jan 23, 2016   #1
"What is truth?" said jesting Stefansson, and would not stay for an answer. Stefansson was ahead of his time. For 'truth' itself is an abstract noun, the madcap Canadian anthropologist and Ethnologist went ahead in search of the truth he believes - the lost continent under Arctic - Atlantic.

I , Captain Bob Barlett, hired to aid this journey. Along with us were the ' scientists ' , a formerly screenwriter and a mariner. Stefansson, the gasbag , repleted with ego, was nothing more than a wolf in sheep skin.

The crew, betided in presage of what lies for them out in the Arctic. The ship, was an extra dismay. Few of Stefansson's main man had cold feet, by accounts, another of their breed. Zephyr was constant. Sometimes abashed the men. Jennifer Niven, the screenwriter , much of a recluse, didn't share the neurotic of the many. Bartlett, the mariner, his predilection for literature and women wasn't known by no one.

January 10th, our luck ran out. Karluk lifespan ended. With a deafening roar, the ice smashed through the ship's hull, water gushed in, the ship slowly decleived. A stream of invective came from the captain's mouth, and behested to abandon ship.

It was in the middle of the dark smoggy night, some of our fellow crew took their last breath of chilled air. Their face drained, their eyes lost their souls. I closed them and prayed. Bartlett, in owe of his energetic spirit and esoteric knowledge only a couple of us survived. Niven's- account- always alive to the nuances of human strength and weakness- is the strongest as she reaccounts the tales of faith of previous voyages. On a faithful day, a numbered lucky 13 people survived the tyranny, sadly our captain, a honest, fearless, reliable, loyal and everything a man should be , couldn't pull it through.

Narrowly did i escape from the jaws of the freeze monster, I would never step into it again. I cannot deny the truism of thought that many people will continue this icy path, and we will be the forerunners and exemplifiers for them.

Can anyone give me suggestions for this essay? I welcome negative comments.

NourNour 22 / 39 7  
Jan 23, 2016   #2
I like your writing style. Your word choice is impressive. Keep going :)

a wolf in sheep'S skin
the ship slowly decleiveddeceived .
Narrowly did i escape----> Narrowly Iescaped
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 23, 2016   #3
Samuel, while the essay is well written and you are most welcoming of all instructive criticism, I am not sure how to review this essay. What exactly are you supposed to be writing about? It is important that you always provide us with the complete instructions for your essay work so that we will have an idea as to what to review, take note of, and advice you about in reference to the expectations of your teacher or professor.

My general comment is that this sounds like you are trying to write about an event in the book. Taking on the first person persona of one of the characters. The essay is effective in describing what it happening and how you are feeling. It is a good narrative but does not really have any emotional connection that the reader can attach you while reading your work. Maybe you were supposed to write it this way? I can't really tell at the moment.

It is basically an average narrative that still has room for improvement. The thing is, you need to give us your instructions so that we can help you better develop the content and presentation of the paper :-) I look forward to receiving your instructions.

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