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Justifying and estimating belong to necessary skills for youngsters to acquire in their young age

nagasirenz2 1 / 1  
May 27, 2019   #1

What's right and what's wrong?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right or wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

No doubt that justifying and estimating is necessary skills for youngsters to acquire in their young age. Some people would suggest that punishment is possible method to encourage them to learn those skills. Personally, I am inclined to this view as it will be some beneficial for their personal development and some sorts of possible punishment are soon produced in this essay.

It is irrefutable that parents and teachers will be taken the most responsibility for the behaviour of their children. In term of studying in school, pupils should be encouraged to follow the rules in order to get better achievement in their studies and develop their personal behaviour. Some recent researches have indicated that those students usually flout rules are likely to involve into the gangs and other unlawful activities. Besides, children should also be controlled by their parent. For example, they should arrange a set of regulations at home and children will be punished for breaking those rules.

First, it is important to clarify that physical punishments must not be given at any moments as it probably contains harmful effects to their mental health. In this case, I would suggest that we should use suitable punishments that are enough to force them to learn but does not affect them to become depressed. For instance, some punishments such as restricting some benefits like the use of TV, the internet or other electronic devices at home as well as giving extra homework or cleaning the classroom could be used by parents and teachers as lessons to show children that negative behaviour will always have negative consequences.

In conclusion, the modern life these days is becoming to have more temptations that may negatively affect the youngsters and it is necessary for them to comprehend how to avoid those traps, and there should be some possible punishments to oblige them to learn this distinction.

Maria - / 1,102 389  
May 27, 2019   #2
Hi there!

Omit unnecessary words that drag your essay's length. Doing this would enable you to have more hold over the content's depth because you'll have more space for expounding your thoughts and opinions.

Watch out for the formatting of your words. Always make sure that you are only using appropriate terminologies. This will help you tailor-fit and cultivate a more academic composition.

Don't create shortened sentences that do not use relevant/necessary details as if you are in a haste; don't cram everything also in just one chunk.

Let's revise your essay.

There is no doubt that knowing how to justify is a necessary skill to acquire in a young age. Some people would suggest punishment to encourage this. Personally, I think having these punishments would be beneficial for self-development.

It is irrefutable that parents and teachers take the most responsibility for the behavior of children. In terms of studying, pupils are encouraged to follow the rules to achieve better results in their academics. Recent researches indicate that students who flout rules are likely to get involved in gangs and unlawful activities. Additionally, parents should control their children. This can be done through setting regulations that have accompanying consequences when broken.

Notice how I had reinterpreted your thoughts and ensured that I abide by the conventions of writing. Doing this will ensure that you have more structure in your essay.

Best of luck as always!
OP nagasirenz2 1 / 1  
May 28, 2019   #3
Thanks for give a detailed explanation about my essay.

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