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Juvenile delinquency is multifactorial case, not just caused by working mother


angga93 42 / 74 20  
Mar 27, 2016   #1
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the last two decades, the trend of gender equality makes a lot of women decide to work rather than stay in their home. Many people believe that this case is the main cause of juvenile delinquceny. However, I strongly object that opinion because juvenil deliquency is multifactorial case which is not that simple occured only by lack interaction of children with their mother.

It is true that mother's duty is keeping their children safe and educating them so that they will well-behave. Women who work routinely will lose their opportunity to do such things. This minimal contact between mothers and children makes the mother cannot properly control their kid's behavior so that when those youngsters make mistakes, their moms is not there to tell them that it is not right. However, In my opinion, it is just one of many factors that leads to problematic children. In fact, there are some causes which are more influential to how children behave.

In fact, the most influential cause of problematic youngsters is the environment where they are risen. Bad social conditions will affect those children's behaviors as young people have high curiosity and tend to imitate others. Making friends with badly-behave peers also contribute a lot to juvenile deliquency. Even youngsters who firstly have decent atitude will turn to bad kids when they frequently interact with delinquent. All in all, juvenile delinquency is caused by many factors, especially the place where the youngsters are grown up.

To sum up, it is evident that although career women is one of the causes of juvenile deliquency, this matter is not the main cause. Meanwhile, environmental conditions take a lead to rise badly-behave kids. In my view, society should not see gender equality as bad influence in youngster generation, but theu have to focus on alleviate the factors which causes juvenile deliquency such as bad environmental conditions.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Mar 28, 2016   #2
Hi Angga, as I finish reading your essay, I believe it is written well, the best thing that I like about it is that you were able to depict the arguments that you would like to be seen in your essay. Moreover, the essay is also short, simple and straight to the point, given the fact that you have a very good prompt, you didn't go over board in writing and pouring ideas into your essay. Most of the writers that are given such an argumentative topic will normally write a ton of ideas and in the end they lose track of what the essay is all about and what the goal of the essay is.

You were also able to cite facts and notes that are relevant to the prompt, meaning, the sequence of importance in your essay is very visible and you didn't go back and forth with your ideas.

Lastly, you have raised your point in such a manner that a reader would be able to follow the series of ideas you have added in the essay.

I hope my insights helped and should you need further assistance, do let us know.


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