'I'm really keen on cook since I was a little girl' - Describe a hobby

The hobby I'm going to talk about is cooking. I'm really keen on cook since I was a little girl. I usually learn how to cook by searching the Internet ,reading recipes and watching a tv show,which is famous in Taiwan. For this hobby, I need to prepare a sort of materials such as vegetable meat and seafood, and seasoning like salt and pepper. I enjoy cooking because i can make delicious and healthy food for my family. Sometimes when I try some new recipes what i learned from tv show, my family will give me some advice. I also baked cookies as gifes to my friends in holidays like Christmas or birthday. I enjoy the recommend from my friends or family. My sister and little brother also called me little mother too.That makes me feel powerful and confident.cooking at home can save money too. I really enjoy cooking because it gives me something interesting to do with my time.

The premise of your essay is interesting. But you need a very good hook to interest the reader. For example, you can explain how cooking became a hobby for you because one time you were alone in the house and you did not have any food to eat but there was uncooked food in the fridge. You can say something about how you enjoyed the experience and then started cooking a lot more because it was a relaxing hobby or something like that. The hook at the start of the first paragraph is what will set the tone for the rest of the essay. Over all though, this was a good draft. There is still room for a lot of improvement. Keep up the good work :-)

I'm really keen on cooking since I was a little girl. I usually learn how to cook by searching the recopies and cooking demonstration on the Internet ,reading recipes and also watching a tv showTV shows on cooking ,which is quite famous in Taiwan. For this hobby, I need to prepare a sort of materials such as vegetable meat and seafood, and seasoning like salt and pepperI am very fascinated with the various methods people use for seasoning the food to make them delicious and more edible. I enjoy cooking because iI can make deliciouscook tasty and healthy food for my family. Sometimes when I try some new recipes what iI learned from tv show TV shows, my family will give me some advicetoo contribute to that experience with their advice and help enriching the whole experience.