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Ielts: key factors for being successful.


Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Sep 19, 2014   #1
Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

It is certainly true that some people claim hard working and determination are the only ways to get successful in the life, while others argue that there are other factors that are more critical when it comes to achieving success. My opinion is more practical and worthy of being paid attention and it will be known during the scope of my essay.

One must admit that hard working is essential character for every single specialist, because without it no achievement can be reached. In clarifying, working hard on your speciality and being determined can help you to improve your knowledge, which has a direct and positive impact on a person's success. Alexander Pushkin, for example, is a great russian writer and poet, who had many difficulties with literature in his childhood, achieved success thanks for being hard-worker and determined. However, many people claim that apart from the aforementioned qualities, Alexander Pushkin had many other characteristics that had even greater impact.

In this sense, when it comes to getting successful, there are some other factors that should be considered in this regard. Firstly, ambitiousness is one of the key tips of a successful career, as it leads to dissatisfaction of people's current positions. In other words, people, who have got satisfied with their current knowledge, will get stuck and stop the process so-called "self-improvement". Secondly, punctuality is an important matter in this case. For instance, being late for business meetings can leave a negative impression on a person, which is extremely detrimental for a specialist. Finally, curiosity is needed for every single person, because it can help to get deeper knowledge and information about a product.

In conclusion, while I admit that the qualities such hard working and determination are important, I would argue that ambitiousness, punctuality and curiosity are equally necessary and are to be considered in this regard.

308 words. 40 minutes.

xatutik 12 / 29 10  
Sep 19, 2014   #2
It would be better to include your position in the introduction. You only need to briefly say what is your position and on what reasons it is based.

Besides, you can write more about in the second paragraph, as it presents your opinion.

In clarifying, working hard on

To clarify
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Sep 20, 2014   #3
Besides, you can write more about in the second paragraph, as it presents your opinion.

yea, this is right, the writer can explain the explanation more,,

also, in the third paragraph, you can explain to be more specific details, or give some relevant examples which is easier to understand by the readers
Mann_ms 9 / 20 5  
Sep 20, 2014   #4
*In your intro, each sentence is very long. maybe, it would be better if you separate them.
OP Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Sep 22, 2014   #5
Looking forward to have new feedbacks:) thanks to that members, who have already given:)
wirawiri 2 / 5 1  
Sep 22, 2014   #6
It is certainly true that some people claim hard working and determination are the only ways to get successful in the life, while others argue that there are other factors that are more critical when it comes to achieving success. My opinion is more practical and worthy of being paid attention and it will be known during the scope of my essay.

It is certainly true that some people claim hard work and determination are the keys to get success in the life. Some groups argue that there are other critical factors in achieving success. My opinion is more practical and worthy to be considered. It will be discussed in my essay.

it is just my opinion for the introduction.
OP Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Sep 23, 2014   #7
Thanks for your feedback:) what about other parts of the essay?
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Sep 26, 2014   #8
Hi, Abdurasul
I saw your effort to answer the prompt. I just do few suggestion.

It is certainly true that some people claim hard working and determination are the only ways to get successful in the life, while others argue that there are other factors that are more critical when it comes to achieving success.

You do make a background and thesis statement in a sentence. This is too long and effects the reader hard to get the information.

Let me try to break
Hard working and determination bring the way to achieve life success. While those factors take huge impact in the people's success, some people claim that chasing a success life needs another important factors to complete in. Then you can continue to state your opinion.

One must admit that hard working is essential character for every single specialist,rid the comma because without it no achievement can be reached.

In clarifyingobviously , working hard on your speciality and being determined can help you to improve your knowledge,rid the comma which has a direct and positive impact on a person's success

Alexander Pushkin, for example, is a great russian writer and poet, who had many difficulties with literature in his childhood, achieved success thanks for being hard-worker and determined.

Your punctuation using (comma) make your idea are not well deliver.
A possible sugestion
Alexander Rushkin, for example, achieved great success become Russian writer due to his hard work even though he suffered with literature difficulties in his childhood.

In other words

On the other words,

Overall, pay more attention about punctuation using. When you put a conjunction in the centre to connect your main and sub clause, it is unnecessary to put a comma.

Hopefully it helps.
OP Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Sep 26, 2014   #9
I am very grateful that you have provided me with a very meaningful feedback:) For sure, it helps me significantly. Thank you:)


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