difficulties to concentrate on or pay attention to study
It is true that being able to concentrate for a period of time is a skill which is very useful for children to enhance their study performance at school. While some children can keep attention throughout a period of certain time, others find it hard, especially whe they are studying. Although this problem can be contributed to a great of reasons, it is not without some feasible solutions that ca be considered to address this issue.
Admittedly, there are some plausible reasons why some students have been struggling to focus on tastle or activities. First of all, due to the proliferation of socia; media, such as facebook, instagram, and so on, kids tend to binge-match newfeeds or instant messengers, which makes them lose track of time and stay late. In fact, these children will get time in the next morning, they do not have enough energy to focus on their priority-study as a result. Secondly, the overload number of reasons that students have learn everysingle day at school may makes them overloaded. A point in this case is that children receive too much information, cannot understand what they are studying, then getting frustrated and unable to pay attention in classroom.
Nevertheless, this phenomenon can be tackled by some following solutions. Firstly, parents should limit the time that their off springs are allowed so utilize computers or mobile phones, which in turn giving children more time for their priorities, such as study. Secondly, by reforming education program, the government can lessen the number of lessons as well as encourage them to take part in more outdoor activities, such as volleyball or basketball, which are very beneficial to children's mental development.
In conclusion, not being able to focus a issue that some causes can be pronounced. By taking some above steps, both parents and the government will be able to give children a hand to learn the concentration skill.@Bennytruong
Welcome to the forum! This is my feedback for this writing of yours.
Try to read up again on the usage of appropriate punctuation in your writing. If we take a look at your first paragraph, it is noticeable how you needed to incorporate a more solidified transition throughout your writing because it appears to be rather bland as of what you have now.
Furthermore, when you're trying to expound on key details of writing, it would be much better if you incorporated a different writing approach wherein you focus a lot more on enhancing the depth of writing rather than trying to escalate the writing by over-explaining. You had done this in your second paragraph's first point. A concrete example would be an analysis that is based on observation, rather than one that is merely telling what will happen. Appearing to have a more scientific basis to your core opinions will certainly boost your writing a lot more.
Your writing also appears to be a tad bit repetitive. If we take a look at your third paragraph's last sentences, the way that you transitioned from point A to point B doesn't have that much of a value and weight to them. Use a different transition method next time around to ensure you aren't writing without a purpose.
