It has been rightly said that not everything is learned in books.Books are an immense source of information but application of the theoretical knowledge helps to gain insight of the things.Books teach the rudiments of the subject , concepts involved in working of particular things but it's only after the hands-on training at the subject that a person is able to take advantage of the information.consider, for example, the fundamentals of voltage stability, frequency imbalance and current distortion taught in power systems lecture.Its only after the erection and commissioning of the electrical equipments that a power system engineer is able to better comprehend the problems and causes that occurred during the commissioning phase.He may have learnt new things in the process which he has not read in the textbooks.
Another example, consider a graduate who wishes to acquire Masters of Business Administration degree.Students need work experience to co-relate and extrapolate beyond what is taught in classes.Work experience helps them to learn and understand in a better way.Similarly, an accounting professional without having the knowledge of counting fundamentals would not be able to solve convoluted problems.
The moral principles of sincerity, hardwork, probity are delivered by teachers in schools to students.When students apply these principles in real world , they encounter numerous problems and learn from their experience.They become better equipped to deal with various grim situations in their life.Similar is the case in diplomacy and politics where persons learn from their mistakes after applying it in reality.
Thus, In my view , a theoretical knowledge corroborated by practical experience is a pre-requisite for better development and growth of an individual.Either of these alone factors will not be sufficient and complete in edifying the human about the complexities of life and myriad things he faces.
Your vocab is good :)
However you have to write your essay in another way if you want to score the highest. Your organization and structure is unsuitable for an essay.
You should have a look at some model essays of Dumi or tiaDS in the forum, very well organized.
By the way, next time include the type of test of your essay, it would be easier for us to judge base on that :)
It is always good for us to know what is the purpose of this writing. Is this to practice for IELTS or TOEFL? When we know the purpose, we can provide you with more task related feedbacks :)
I have to assume this as your intro. However, this looks pretty lengthy to be an introduction. In the intro, your goal should be to introduce the topic to the reader. It is always good to have a catchy opening , so begin your essay with an interesting hook.
Impressive sentence structures, complex and deep I suppose.:) However, you tend to have focused a lot on the introduction which led you to a shorter body of the succeeding paragraph. A brief yet catchy and interesting intro would be good enough as mentioned by Dumi.:)
Its my first time to sign up on Essay forum. And I find it useful on our studies on varied fields. Its interesting how everyone's ideas, opinions and knowledge are gathered in this forum. Thank you guys, your support is very much valued. My IELTS exam is approaching this Saturday. Dumi, I hope you would have some spare time to take a look at my written works. It would be an honor. Thank you :)))