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IELTS task 2: the lack of basic interpersonal skills among workers - causes and solutions


nguyenvanhieucf 1 / -  
Nov 7, 2019   #1

interpersonal difficulties



Some business find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills, such as cooperative skills. What are the cause and suggest some possible solutions.

Answer
Some employers argue that their new employees have enormous problems with interpersonal skills to work effectively with cooperation. There are dozens of reasons to explain those working problems, but also some solutions to enhance the performance of new employees.

Lack of education in the university is certain to trigger undesirable problems. The education of many countries just concentrates on academic lessons to make students have a good grasp of theories and push them to deal with enormous tests to reach high points in order to have a good resume. As a result, after graduating, students in many universities do not practice enough soft skills which helps them to enhance their relationship with other people in the company and strengthen the culture of the working environment. Another main reason is the lifestyle of youngsters in the 21st century, younger people who use the social network and other cutting-edge technology to communicate and keep in touch with other may lack real experiences to do teamwork jobs involve creative activities and face to face conversations.

There are many solutions to overcome those obstacles of new employees to promote their careers. However, those solutions need to involve the government to improve the conscious of the population. Firstly, the government should provide funding for research to change the way the education educates people, universities need to enhance lecturing methods to bring more practice lessons. As a result, students have an adequate perspective to create more added value in the cooperation and promote their performance to working with other people. Secondly, the company should finance weekend activities to encourage people to stick together. For example, outside activities such as climbing and camping in the mighty mountain push employees learning survival skills together and have relaxing moments to improve the relationship with other people which also increases the productivity of the company.

In conclusion, while the lack of soft skills of new employees has aroused employers' discussions. There are also many ways to tackle those problems of new employees and support them to work effectively in the new working environment.

P/s: please fix any falses or express troubles by red word ! many thanks!

Maria [Contributor] - / 919 334  
Nov 9, 2019   #2
@nguyenvanhieucf
Hi there. Welcome to the forum. Hopefully, my feedback will give you insight on how to improve your writing. Please don't hesitate to approach me once more should you have more questions.

First and foremost, I find that the transition in between your paragraphs needs to be more solidified in order to reflect better the purpose and intent of your writing. When we take a look at the comparison of the theme behind the first paragraph and the body ones, you can easily find that you would need to link better the major thoughts. You can easily do this by inserting in the body paragraphs a briefing on how correlated the details are.

There's also a severe imbalance in writing, considering that your conclusive remarks were still lacking. It is insufficient to have two sentences for a conclusion, especially because you need to be working with larger scopes.

If you can cancel these two out, the work itself is already decently put-together.


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