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Last weekend you attended the Canada Day community picnic. The event was a potluck, so everyone brou


VictorB 1 / -  
Sep 6, 2020   #1

email to the community picnic organizer



Dear Organizer,

First of all, thank you taking the initiative this year again for arranging yearly get together to celebrate founders days of our country. Me and my Family spent entire day at the venue to enjoy all performances and activities that you had planned. Entire place was crowed with known and new faces which made meeting new people and catching up with fellows I knew from before very interesting.

My reason to writing this letter is to bring in your attention that. there are some things we can improve in following year by making mandatory to label all the food with details about ingredients. Matter of fact, there are so many individuals like my self that are allergic to nuts and seafood. Furthermore, people who are selective with their diet choices due to their religious beliefs and some have different preferences. In my opinion, whoever Decides to bring eatables. Next year, they should make sure food is label. Moreover, making food tables separate for vegetarians, meat eaters, and another table for foods that is suitable for people who have allergies. I hope you will consider my suggestion. thank you.

Kind regards,
Victor
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Sep 6, 2020   #2
Kindly remember to include the writing instructions next time. I am not really sure how to review your letter since the writing instructions were not included. Regardless, the writing is choppy, lacks the use of connecting words, and shows a slight problem with your punctuation usage. You need to capitalize a word after a period. Make sure you really wanted to use a period first. If not, then merely delete the period from the sentence. If you think you haven't written your whole thought yet, then do not end the sentence with a period only to continue it without a capitalized first word in the new sentence.

While the English grammar is not perfect and the sentence structure can use more work, you managed to deliver a clear representation of your ideas and sentiments. You should work more on your sentence building exercises. Focus your review for the work you did on this essay on the grammar and clarity rules / usage. Those are the problematic aspects of your presentation. Specifically, study possessive noun usage and how to write it, word usage (myself, not my self) , you should also familiarize yourself with reflexive pronoun usage. Avoid any words that will make your opinion seem uncertain. Do not forget that you are scored on opinion clarity so any uncertain words used means you will lose points when it comes to clarity of your presentation. If you improve on these writing aspects, you should be able to present a better letter the next time you are asked to write one for the Task 1 test.


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