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IELTS : Lately more and more work has to be done by machines.


latkhan 4 / 9 3  
Aug 10, 2014   #1
Lately more and more work has to be done by machines. Do you think positive effects of this development outweigh the negative effects on individual and society?

Many organizations and factories have revolutionized their workforce by adopting automated system to meet the growing demand of today's business world yet it is argued that, this transition has negative impact on workers and communities. In my view, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

Perhaps, the major argument that is made against this development is, it may result in higher unemployment rate. This means, a single machine can easily make hundreds of employees redundant. Moreover, People failing to support their families may instill the sense of injustice and resentment and this is often one of the reasons that, people turn to crime to fulfill their basic needs of life, when they are unable to find work. Thus, this clearly shows that replacing humans with machines to perform jobs can cause irreparable damage to both, individuals and societies.

However, while there are some drawbacks to this approach, there are also numbers of potential benefits to this technology. Firstly, machines can perform work more efficiently in comparison to human employees as these automated machines are carefully designed to utilize less resource and increase productivity. Secondly, there are occasions where it is more sensible to use machines than to perform jobs manually such as, coal mining industry, where workers health can be seriously affected and even sometimes put their lives in grave danger. Lastly, this technology encourages people to learn new skills and enforce societies to educate rather being stuck for lifetime of unskilled job. Therefore, as a result, this development can improve productivity, save lives and even educate societies.

In conclusion, I believe, it is highly vital to adopt this development if we need to survive in today's competitive world. However, governments and authorities should establish regulations to overcome unemployment rate and compensate people by providing them trainings and more skill-full employment opportunities.

trantrunghieu 2 / 3 1  
Aug 10, 2014   #2
workers health

workers' health.

Lastly, this technology encourages people to learn new skills and enforce societies to educate rather being stuck for lifetime of unskilled job.

I don't think people can learn more skills when the teachology appears. I think we should emphasize the computer skills, how to operate a complicated machine.

Overall: Your essay is good.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Aug 11, 2014   #3
Moreover, People are failing to support their families may instill the sense of injustice and resentment and this is often one of the reasons that, people turn to crime to fulfill their basic needs of life, when they are unable to find work.

too long sentence. Make it simple to show clarity.

Therefore, As a result, this development can improve productivity, save lives and even educate societies.

use one of them, I worry it will be overusing.
Overall, it's excellent writing and structure, but sometime complex sentences cannot give clear point. Although I know, you wanna elaborate further your own idea.


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