Topic: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Deciding punishment forms for different types of crime is the judges' difficult verdicts. Thus some think that we should have fixed punishments for each kind of crime. While others believe that it is unfair if according to the circumstances or motivation of an individual crime. I totally agree with the latter point of view.
Those who think that each type of crime should have a fixed account for itself believe that this is severe and effective punishment to tackle all kinds of crime in society. For example, if you are a murderer, you must incur the similar punishment to others murderers regardless your circumstance and motivation. For this reason, before you commit an illegal act, you should think of its punishment. It can be understood why many people support this point of view.
However, there are still those who believe that it is fairer if judges give convicts for each crime in accordance to the circumstances and motivation of its. For instance, a murderer in self-defence situation is totally different from a murderer in intentional situation. Obviously, in this case, the court should not give the same punishment for both these accounts because purposes and motivation in these scenarios are different.
In conclusion, I personally think that in addition to bringing fairness and justice to society, the law also need the flexibility in each verdict of criminal behaviours. Therefore, considering the circumstances and motivation of each individual crime is really necessary before giving ultimate sentences of punishment for these crimes.
You should develop a stronger introductory statement. One way of doing this is to cite some famous cases that carries a public opinion about the unfairness or fairness of the sentence. Then explain how historically, the punishment has always been made to fit the crime and that people today want to change that in order to be fair to the accused whose criminal circumstances should be considered during sentencing. Then you can present your own point of view.
When you say that the punishments should be uniform for all crimes, you need to explain why there is a growing sentiment towards this and why there are still people who disagree with it. Then discuss the legal point of view regarding sentencing. Research the legal stand of various parties and then use that in the discussion. Factual evidence such as those will give your paper academic weight.
When you finally explain why you believe that the sentences should not be the same, try to relate it to more recent cases ( as examples) in order to provide a solid opinion on the matter. Don't forget that you need to sound knowledgeable and authoritative when you discuss this part because this is the most important part of the essay, your personal opinion. So make your discussion matter and work towards making it the strongest argument in the essay.
You also need to fix your conclusion because you made the mistake of presenting a new idea instead of wrapping up the statement. You know that we are not allowed to present new ideas, even if they are your own, in the conclusion. That is not the purpose of a conclusion. Instead, you can add another paragraph to discuss your new idea in and then conclude the essay.