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'the leadership or talented architects' - Successful sport professionals

minhtung9x 2 / 6  
Feb 24, 2012   #1
Topic: Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In this day and age, the majority believe that there is a relationship between pros as well as other noticeable professionals. It is asserted by some that successful sport professionals need earning a lot of commission because they are the face of nation and occupational accidents. Nonetheless, some refute this idea and claim that other professionals deserve to have a good well-paid. This essay will both sides but I'm totally convinced by the former view.

It is undoubted true that pros may earn more money due to some positive points. First and foremost, sport professionals are the face of nation during any competition or tournament. In particular, if they are encouraged them by a good well-paid, they will try their best to improve some new methods which is a consequence of greater achievements. Another effect of this problem is that athletes usually practice in extreme weather which impinge on injury. An obvious example is in swimming field, athletes always practice swimming below zero degree during the winter.

On the other hand, some emphasize that other professions namely teachers and architects have a major impact in living standard. The first pressing outcome is that education is not only the crucial source of countries but also the future for the next generation, which means that teachers need stimulating to order to improve communicate methods. Nevertheless, nuclear technology is not only harmful to the environment but also leads to dire catastrophes thus these budget may be moved onto the educational budget instead of using sport budget but in noway lessens the money paid for teachers. Moreover, run-down infrastructure may increase the stress of inhabitants, which is a vexed answer for any architects. Nonetheless, it is crucial to remember that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits

At the end of the day, there are arguments on both sides such as the face of nation as well as the importance of education. However, i believe that the problem of latter arguments are handled by the leadership or talented architects, we may continue to invest in sport and make a better relationship between countries

Athena - / 83 3  
Feb 24, 2012   #2

Just went through your essay..It seems like you are supporting the first side of the argument in the first para and then strongly supporting the latter in your last para. I'd suggest that you be a little more firm on which opinion you support to what extent. (Because it seems like your contradicting yourself a little) :)

It is undoubtedundoubtedly true....

However, iI believe that the problem...

I like some of the points mentioned though.

Good Luck on your IELTS scores!!! =)
OP minhtung9x 2 / 6  
Feb 24, 2012   #3
Thanks ! I'll repair :D

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