Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Learner's interest and enjoyment should be the ultimate factors while enrolling to further education


mehbub 3 / 7  
Sep 9, 2016   #1
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


There is ever demanding observable fact of preferring career oriented courses, such as software engineering and information technology, among the tertiary level aspirants. It is often agreed this is a positive development while others oppose and refers it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that learner's interest and enjoyment should be the ultimate factors while enrolling to further education college rather accomplishment. Both viewpoints will be discussed in this essay and hence fortify the above statement.

It is evident that learning with gratification and keep amused own self will open the avenues for greater achievement in future. Moreover, being relaxed and more motivated will act as a catalyst to bring interesting vision from the learners. It is therefore agreed that while enrolling in graduation program, student must follow their inner voice. Professionals such as sports icons or photographers are a prime example, where they ensure their paycheck as well as appreciation from others.

Admittedly, many disagree and feel that learner's must be smart enough while selecting courses because of two fold reasons. To begin with, profession oriented programs may be the precursor of obtaining high salaried career to a student and ensures protected life thereby. Furthermore, they can easily compensate the financial debts that occur due to high tuition fee, a very common circumstance these days. Despite these, being dropped out from universities due to not getting pleasure strongly embodied the idea that students must be vigilant while following the shortcut footstep of achieving goal.

By far the conclusion, while the benefits of enjoyment should be the vocal point to enroll in third level education program, some still feels that student should go for functional subject. However, as long as students are listening to their hearts to learn something with ecstasy, I certainly believe, success will follow their footprint.

[293 words]
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 9, 2016   #2
firstly, i want to say that you clearly have a wide range of vocabularies showed by your less common word chosen. However, you need to concern whether it is appropriate or not on that using. besides, what makes an essay great is also about its informative and understandable values, you tend to make complicated sentences.

There is AN ever demanding observable fact ... It is often agreed this is a positive development [two finite verbs that need a conjunction] while others oppose and refers it will lead to adverse ramifications [sentence completion issue. you tend to over use complex structures in inappropriate ways].

... enjoyment should be the ultimate factors whileon enrolling to further education collegehigher education rather accomplishment.

... should be the vocal point to enroll in the third level of education program, some still feels [plural/singular issue ] that student should ...
... listening to their hearts to learnon learning something with ecstasy, ...

i do only focus on your introduction and conclusion to conclude that there are some minor errors that you need to concern. However, i think you have shown a high proficiency on writing, so it is a pleasure to try to give feedback on yours. keep writing and keep uploading your work here. Thank you
OP mehbub 3 / 7  
Sep 9, 2016   #3
Hi RAY93,

Thanks for your valuable points. I will be very grateful if you have time to rate my essay as per IELTS band scale.


Home / Writing Feedback / Learner's interest and enjoyment should be the ultimate factors while enrolling to further education