Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


Learning English through Social Issue - Teen Smoking


davylsc910 1 / -  
Jun 9, 2013   #1
Sorry, Can you help to correct,please ? I think it have much of mistakes.

Nowadays, it is not common for smoking in Hong Kong. Undoubtedly, there are many demerits for this phenomenon. It is a popular trend among to smoking. School children as young as eight smoking and almost all secondary schools have student smoker. Hence, it is virtually rewarding to rethink the cons of smoking. In the article, we are going to explore the caused, the cons and the solutions. Let's look at the reasons behind the serious trend of smoking. [..]
kieulinhbs 2 / 7 1  
Jun 9, 2013   #2
Nowadays, it is not common for smoking in Hong Kong. Undoubtedly, there are many demerits for this phenomenon. It is a popular trend among to smoking. School children as young as eight smoking and almost all secondary schools have student smoker. Hence, it is virtually rewarding to rethink the cons of smoking. In the article, we are going to explore the caused, the cons and the solutions. Let's look at the reasons behind the serious trend of smoking.

There are a few common reasons why young are smoking. The firstThe first reason is problems from family. Troubled homes makes youngmake the young feel lack of concern and lose sense of belonging. The same applyapplies to the situation of facing difficulties at school. Teenagers will also turn to smoking to escape their problemof their problem .

Another reason of teenagers being tempted to smoking problem is that they are curious towards smoking, when anyone in their peer group smoking, they will be irresistible to the temptation, thereby smoking the road of no return. WithBy the cause of teenage idols being found towith smoking, like Eason Chan, teenagers will be influenced to think that smoking is trendy. This is another reason that teenagers are prone to smoking.

With such a sharp increase, we are worrying about the effects brought by smokersmokers . To start with, smoking worsens family relationship. Most of parent are oppose smoking so there child smoking, they would argue.

At school, the effects of smoking are also serious. They cannot catch up with their study. Instead, they always sleep in the lesson. And also, many smokersmokers smoking around the road so we were polluted.

Tackling such climbing rate of teenager smoking needs no further delay. First, they should join more family gatherings and speak their minds, shows more understanding. It is parents' responsibility tofor have more communication with their children and get more about their life. Furthermore , they can learn to relax such as playing ball games with friends , taking a rest or drawing.

To conclude, I would say that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. So, Don't try itdon't try it on !
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 26, 2013   #3
Nowadays, it is not common for smoking in Hong Kong

....this sounds confusing.... what do you try to say? Is it a common habit in Hong Kong or its de-merits are known to all the people? .... you need to rephrase this line to convey your idea clearly to the reader.

Undoubtedly, there are many demerits for this phenomenon.

Undoubtedly, there are many demerits linked with this activity.

It is a popular trend among (who?) to smoking

.... among who? you need to specify.
You have many grammar mistakes here... However, more than grammar, I don't find proper organization of your ideas. Arrange your ideas in a logical sequence first and then start writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Learning English through Social Issue - Teen Smoking
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳