Children Learning a Foreign Language
Learning overseas language of children should start at primary school rather than secondary school. The opinion is revealed by some experts. Some people believe that it will be better, if they start it when they are younger since their brain in optimal working. However, others argue, learning too much language make children confused about their mother-tongue. This essay will first discuss how learning languages can be maximal in primary school, and then talk how it can make children muddled about their first language.
The pupils in primary school who learn foreign languages, sometimes they are founded dazed about what languages that they should say when speak to other people because they learn more than one way to communicate. Taking a theory of children languages, stated that children who learn too many languages in too young age will possibly be hard to differentiate which one their mother language and the foreign.
However, other merits follow this trend. Children will be easier for understanding the language since they start their learning from young age. Rose Mini, a children psychologist stated that a habit or activity that has started from children, harder to forget even they get older. It is proven that, learning language in primary school make it easier to understand and harder to forget. That is why, personally, I believe that even though it has a demerit, the merits still outweigh.
To conclude, learning foreign language for children can be optimal in primary school, though it has possibility to make them bemused about their real language.
Hi Aini, please you meet my notes for finalizing this.
Firstly, others can not give feedback totally because you did not include the statement or question entirely. In this moment, I am gonna offer suggestions based on what I got in your prompt. You have still made a few mistakes grammatically. For example, you could not distinguish when you use since/ because/ because of. It probably seemed like the minor error, but that can disrupt the original meaning of what you mind. Then, you should remove your last sentence in the first paragraph because it was a repetitive idea of two previous sentences. You would seem explaining that around the same topic and can reduce points at the lexical resource.
Turning to the first body paragraph, there were many errors. You have to place a comma at "The pupils in primary school,who learn foreign languages" or replace the word "in primary school". I think what you write is not what you mind. After that, your flow is not good enough. Readers are gonna find a difficulty to understand your sentence. You can make a large number of the complex sentences, but you stay keeping the flow. Honestly, it seemed so messy. I only remind that your job in the writing task 2 is to communicate with others, not to press them so that you should display well. Following that, you have still fallen in misspelling. Please, you double check, so you do not lose the score because of a minor error.
Hopefully, those can help you to improve your skill.
Nuraini, the biggest problem of your essay is that you did not offer a proper paraphrasing of the prompt requirements, which would have helped us better review your essay in terms of its relevance to the topic. What you did was, you immediately launched into a discussion of the essay by offering pertinent information meant to open the discussion of the subject. The proper representation for the opening statement would have that of a paraphrasing of the topic plus instructions for the discussion and then the presentation of your line of reasoning in the second paragraph. It is because of this mistake that your concluding essay came up short and, along with the missing paraphrase and discussion outline at the beginning, that you would most likely not get a passing grade for this essay in the actual test. Remember the proper discussion format for an IELTS task 2 essay and always follow it. That is how you can increase your test scores.