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Learning local history more crucial for pupils than gaining knowledge about the world's past events


Nhat Ha 3 / 7  
Aug 15, 2022   #1
It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history.

To what extent, argree or disagree ?



In this day and age, it is believed that learning local history is more crucial for pupils than gaining knowledge about the world's past events. To a certain extent, I firmly suppose that these two aspects of history are equally significant.

To begin with, it is true that school students should be taught about national history due to the fact that it is the backbone of any society. More precisely, learning about local history allows students to have a throughout insight into their own cultures and how their countries have evolved over a long period of time. The ancestors, for example, struggled to fight against foreign invaders to maintain sovereign and national freedom. For this reason, local history records their sacrifice, further encouraging patriotism as well as instilling national identities among students

Nevertheless, I strongly opine that it is also worth researching past events around the world. If school students are well-equipped with profound knowledge of world history, they are more likely to shape a well-rounded perspective. To explain this further, the youngsters are capable of learning about the people, the culture of oversea nations previously through world history, facilitating them to have more comprehensive and thorough views about the way in which the world works. For instance, the two world- wars are important historical events that almost schools around the globe include them in the national curriculum.

In conclusion, despite the fact that many people prefer local history to world history. I personally suppose that school students should be provided with both local and international aspects of this subject.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,211 4317  
Aug 15, 2022   #2
Avoid using timeframe references in task 2 essays. That should not be referenced in any discussion unless a time frame is specifically mentioned in the original presentation. Doing so creates an inaccurate restatement of the original topic. A writer cannot also "firmly suppose" an opinion since "supposing" indicates a lack of opinion clarity and inability to come up with a proper response to the question. The writer shows a lack of proper opinion statement abilities. Such a reference will result in a failing score being provided for that section.

The writer should not "strongly opine" something in the middle of the essay. Either present that at the start, as a part of a strong writer's opinion presentation or at the end as a part of the summary conclusion. If one will review this essay, it will appear that the writer also contradicts his own opinion since he first stated that he "firmly suppose(s)" a reference. The contradiction will result in a confusing opinion that will affect the clarity of the discussion. Which is it? What is the writer actually supporting here?
OP Nhat Ha 3 / 7  
Aug 15, 2022   #3
@Holt
Thank you for your feedback, I'm going to take the IELTS exams so do you have any recommendations for my writing?


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