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Least Favorite Place Essay


shamey 1 / -  
Jul 18, 2009   #1
hellow friends,
this is my first time joining this forum.
I found that, this forum will help our english writings.
so, please read my eassy and let me know tha garametical erros.
thank you.

topic: ''my least fvourite place''

Croydon is a largish town on the outskirts of London. it's a populor shopping center and several larg business have their hedquarters there. many of the people who work in London, which is about half an hour awy by train.

I went to school in Croydon for 6 years and i never liked it. In the first place, there are hardly any historical buildings, so it is a rather dull town. Secondly,it is full of unfriendly peoplewho are too busy to stop and chat. Lastly,because it is on a main road into London, the streets are always full of traffic and some times the air is so polluted that it's almost impossible to breathe.

AS far as i'm concerned, i woud'nt mind if i never went to Croydon again.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Jul 18, 2009   #2
Please post new essays in new threads. Thanks.

As for this essay, why are you writing it? For practice? For class? If the latter, what are the instructions?

In any event, you need to add a lot more for this essay to be effective. If it is a dull town, describe the dullness. If the people are unfriendly, describe them acting that way. And so on.
qwerty 1 / 5  
Jul 19, 2009   #3
Croydon is a fairly large town on the outskirts of London. It has a popular shopping center and several large businesses have their head quarters there. M any of the people who work in London catch a train from Croydon which is about half an hour away .

I went to school in Croydon for 6 years and I never liked it. In the first place, there are hardly any historical buildings, so it is a rather dull town. Secondly, it is full of unfriendly people who are too busy to stop and chat. Lastly, because it is on a main road into London, the streets are always full of traffic and sometimes the air is so polluted that it's almost impossible to breathe.

As far as I'm concerned, I wouldn't mind if I never went to Croydon again.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 19, 2009   #4
This is fine as a brief statement but is not a complete essay. You can easily expand it by using what you have now as your introduction and then expanding (in separate paragraphs) on each of the three reasons you dislike the place.
john6503 9 / 27  
Jul 21, 2009   #5
There are a number of spelling mistakes.
HoNoRStudent 1 / 6  
Jul 21, 2009   #6
You have a good angle, but you need to elaborate more to make this an essay.
fearistheenemy 5 / 9  
Jul 21, 2009   #7
This sounds like some paragraphs extracted from a short story, rather than an essay.
If the topic is 'My least favorite place', then your first paragraph should contains one sentence about places in general, then you talk about your Croydon.

Moreover, you write little about aspects of the town that you don't like. Describe it more, it can help to lengthen your essay.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Jul 22, 2009   #8
f the topic is 'My least favorite place', then your first paragraph should contains one sentence about places in general, then you talk about your Croydon.

That would be the least original way to start the essay.


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