Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 8

Leisure time: spend it outdoors or indoors?


Nesreen 15 / 41  
May 28, 2010   #1
Some people prefer to spend their free time outdoors. Other people prefer to spend their leisure time indoors. Would you prefer to be outside or would you prefer to be inside for your leisure activities?

Leisure Time

Everyone has his or her personal reasons behind spending his or her free time indoors or outdoors. Many people prefer to spend their spare time indoors. Maybe it allows them to relax, watch TV or enjoy their time with the family. I personally prefer to spend my leisure time outdoors because it enables me to get more chances to meet new people and to decrease the stress of my life.

Spending our spare time outdoors gives us many opportunities to expand our relationships. It allows us to meet new people, get new perspectives, and new experiences. For instance, in my spare time I am used to going to a club which is near to my home to enjoy the companion of acquaintances. Furthermore, I have met a lot of people who became my close friends later. Also, I have gotten my recently job from people that I've met at that club.

Besides, spending our time outside helps us to reduce our stress that we face during the week. It is common these days for friends to hang out together to have fun, play, and tell jokes. For example, last weekend, I went with my friends to a night club where we danced and sang till midnight. Once I got home, I really felt refreshed and energized. So going outside can help you change the atmosphere and enjoy the excitements of natural around you.

To summarize, people are divided into two categories regarding whether they spend their time inside or outside their homes. In my opinion, you can stay home and enjoy your time with your family, read a book, or watch TV. However, to go outside and breathe new air helps you to refresh your thoughts and soul. Also, it helps you to energize yourself to move on to the next week.

Please I am a new member here and I need your Comments professors in my writing? I need to know my problems to improve them?

babyevy 3 / 27  
May 28, 2010   #2
I think there is a problem in the structure...your introduction is attached to the first body paragraph, it should be separated.

Also the conclusion it is not good because There you have to summarize what you said i mean what are your main points, but in your conlusion I see new points...

maybe this can help you
INTRODUCTION...TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO TELL THEM
BODY...TELL THEM
CONCLUSION...TELL THEM WHAT YOU TOLD THEM

I READ THIS IN AN ACADEMIC WRITING BOOK. I HOPE IT HELPS. :)
OP Nesreen 15 / 41  
May 29, 2010   #3
Thank you dear for your notes but In my conclusion I summarize all the points that I wrote about?
If you know an academic writing book could you tell me please?
renga78 6 / 18  
May 31, 2010   #4
I think the following would be useful for you.

Also, I have gotten my recently recent job from peoplethe one that I've met at that clubthere .
babyevy 3 / 27  
May 31, 2010   #5
According to your topic sentences:
Spending our spare time outdoors gives us many opportunities toexpand our relationships

Besides, spending our time outside helps us to reduce our stress that we face during the week


These are your main points, but I see more than that in your conclusion, maybe I am wrong but for me you are more than summarizing.

and...this is a good book...Writing Academic English. Alice Oshima and Anne Hogue. Person Longman.
OP Nesreen 15 / 41  
May 31, 2010   #6
I really appreciate your comments dear Ef, renga and . Please check all my future essays.
mabu9669 4 / 9  
Jun 11, 2010   #7
In my IELTS class, this topic is in Balance - Argument essay. And my teacher recommend us write both views of the topic (indoor and outdoor). In the point you like, use more points to support your ideas.

In Introduction and Conclusion, we add our opinions, what style you prefer, what things it bring to us...

Hope this help!
jjinko 4 / 11  
Jun 15, 2010   #8
I think adding their is better because there are too much or in the sentence.

Everyone has his or hertheir personal reasons behind spending his or hertheir free time indoors or outdoors.


Home / Writing Feedback / Leisure time: spend it outdoors or indoors?