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Writing letters on a paper is obsolete nowadays?


Tuan Anh 16 1 / 5  
Nov 19, 2017   #1
Please check out my essay! Thank you in advance!
Modern communications mean that it's no longer necessary to write a letter. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Letter Writing Still Matters



Whether we should remain writing a letter despite the appearance of technological tools is an on-going debate. There is a thought that handwriting letters should be abolished as it is unnecessary anymore. I myself hold a strong belief that while this idea may be justifiable, there are several aspects which should be taken into consideration.

In terms of hi-tech communications, there are a number of reasons why advanced technology can take over the traditional way of communication. First of all, thanks to electrical devices such as laptops, smart phones, and tablets which are connected to the Internet, it is much user-friendly to contact each other despite a long distance. For example, some social networks such as Facebook,or Instagramallow users to keep in touch with their friends and family all the time. Secondly, modern tools help people save time and energy due to the speed of sending information and receiving messages. In the past, people used to wait about 2 to 5 days or even a week until a letter was delivered, but now online messaging is an good example which demonstrates how faster it is to receive a message response after a few minutes.

However, people can not get rid of writing habits with ease for three following reasons.The first reason why this idea is supported is that writing letters is a means of documentation and proofs which scientiests merely base on to do research on many fields. Another motivation for this stance is that writing letters plays an important role in big events such as wedding parties or bussiness meetings because letters are continuously used in invitations to express sincerity and fomality. Lastly, people may evaluate parts of their personality via observing their handwriting letters.

In conclusion, I am fully behind the view that comtemporary communications and writing letters are equally essential as both of them have beneficial effects on individuals and societies.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,766 4769  
Nov 19, 2017   #2
Tuan, your score for this essay will be failing. The reason? You did not accurately discuss the essay within the prompt parameters. Your opening statement was not a proper paraphrase, the discussion method was not in accordance with the discussion instruction, the list of mistakes in this essay go on and on. These problems all stemmed from the fact that you did not understand what the discussion instruction was. While you did understand what the topic for discussion is, the method of discussion is the more important factor in the scoring considerations. Due to the problematic paraphrase, the whole essay ended up not delivering on the required elements. The correct paraphrase is:

Modern communications now rely on technology rather than the primitive pen and paper style. That is what these days, it is believed that people no longer need to write letters. I am in total agreement with this statement for several reasons.

This is not a comparison essay but rather a single opinion essay. That is why your discussion method is unacceptable. You chose to do a discussion of both sides, without an actual presentation of a point of view coming from you. The proper discussion would have been a 3 body paragraph presenting only your point of view in the following manner:

Paragraph 2 - Extended personal opinion explanation (based on personal experience)
Paragraph 3- Supporting evidence presentation
Paragraph 4 - Example to support the evidence (additional personal experience or some other popular example)

Done in the proper manner, you could have gotten a pretty high score with this essay. You show a good grasp of English language usage. Unfortunately, that does not translate in an ability to understand English. You first need to be able to understand English before you can accurately discuss it. Maybe you just got confused as to how to discuss this essay. Maybe you will do better next time. I look forward to reading it.
OP Tuan Anh 16 1 / 5  
Nov 19, 2017   #3
@Holt
Dear Holt,
Thank you so much for helping me with my essay. I really appreciate it and try to do my best in the future !
Regards
Ann Ngo 3 / 5 1  
Nov 19, 2017   #4
@Tuan Anh 16
I will not comment much on your content for each person has his or her own viewpoint of a problem. However, you should give more concrete points to support your main idea. In terms of grammar, your general usage of English is good, and you should better your sentence structure in more and more natural way. You no need to use a lot of conjunction words directly , it makes your essay less natural. There are more ways to link sentences together without abusing linking words, try to enhance your sentence, I am sure u'll soon be progressed!
chinkybehl22 10 / 25 4  
Nov 19, 2017   #5
Overall a good read, quite informative.

There are few sentence construction and spelling mistakes which I would like to highlight.

1st paragraph:
... writing a letter, despite ...

2nd paragraph:
... messaging is an a good example ...

3rd paragraph:
... habits with ease for three the following reasons.
... proofs which scientiests scientists merely base on in to do research on many fields.

... wedding parties or bussiness business meetings ... sincerity and formality formality.

... observing their handwriting handwritten letters.

4th paragraph:
... view that comtemporary contemporary communications and writing letters are have equally essential ...
OP Tuan Anh 16 1 / 5  
Nov 19, 2017   #6
@chinkybehl22
Thanks a million ! I really appreciate your effort trying to help my with my essay !


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