O level (Some people say that the Internet does more harm than good.)

Topic is O level (Some people say that the Internet does more harm then good. What is your view? )

The Internet has been around us ever since the 20th century and it has grown to a huge network with a wide array of information available to us any time we log on to the Internet. Statistics and studies have shown that more and more people are using the Internet each year and the amount of information being shared around is increasing. It has also provided an outlet for people to voice out their opinions and the Internet has also greatly improved trade and communication around the world.

The Internet has a vast amount of information available readily distributed by many people around the world providing different opinions on many matters. This information allows us to know more about current affairs in the world and not be limited to only news broadcast by companies. People can also read books on-line, watch videos or go on a forum to discuss topics. This allows us to learn more about the world we live in and promote discussion among people with many different opinions as the Internet is available globally. It also enables us to entertain ourselves by logging on to the Internet to watch videos that can help us to reduce our stress level.

Many schools have started using the Internet to teach students by using educational games and teachers are also using the Internet as a e-learning discussion platform for students to pose a question to one another or to ask the teacher some questions. Moreover, students can engage themselves in meaningful discussions. Students will be more knowledgeable and bring learning beyond the classroom. Educational games will also help to capture a student's interest in the subject and they will then ask more questions about the topic and this will increase their knowledge bank.

Many people often log on to the Internet every day and this has encouraged entrepreneurs to set up their businesses online. Companies will also benefit by posting advertisements on the Internet which is cheap and this will get them a wider audience globally. Small businesses will be set up that will have a low capital which means that there will be a low risk. People can work from home and become their own boss which promotes entrepreneurship. This has caused trade in the world to grow significantly.

However, the Internet is also a platform for people to play online games together. Many of these people often log on to the Internet to play games and lock themselves in the room. This causes them to become addicted to games and withdraw themselves from their social life. If they are a student, this will cause their academic grades to drop and can pose a risk to the student's future. In addition, some games require us to pay every month in order to play the game. This poses a significant threat to their lifestyle.

As more information is distributed around the world by the Internet, pornography is more readily available to people and minors are able to view pornography which will distort their thinking and stimulate their sexual fantasy. Moreover, they might even view the opposite gender as nothing more but tools. This will also affect their marriage as their view of sex is different from what they experience and this can cause a rocky relationship to occur

All in all, the Internet has changed the way people live their life as information is easily distributed around the world. News of people setting up their business online are occuring more often. School projects have also encouraged the use of the Internet to search for information. This suggests that the Internet is beneficial. However, addicted gamers should be counselled to stop them from sinking deeper into depression

It does more good.

That was alot of grammatical errors I made /sigh.

Do you have any criticism for me on how to improve my essay?

Hi there! All the best for Olevels! Well i hope my suggestion is useful cause i don't think i can write as well as you. Your vocab is very vivid so i don't think you have to worry much about your vocabulary(it's appropriate and fits well in the compositon). It is very important to answer the question just like what EF_Susan commented as well (just like social studies, if you don't answer the question you get zero marks or something very bad^^) so just remember that.

In para 5
If they are a student ,(could be changed to : If they are students) this will cause their academic grades to drop and can pose a risk to the student's future.

About the cause of addiction, well i don't think locking yourself in the room with the computer is a good example. Perhaps your could try saying that people who log on to the Internet often would no doubt be exposed to briliantly animated games which are captivating and interesting, causing them to become addicted to online gaming.

I hope my suggestion helps! (I'm not that good of a critic. hehe)

Thanks!

It reminded me of people from Japan who were hikikomori hence the reason why I wrote about them locking themselves up in the room lol but yeah I should have used a better argument since not many people know about hikikomoris.

I really like this essay it's sooooo true. I feel that now a days kids get on the internet for facebook and other stuff that's not educational. Good Job! = )