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TASK 1 _ The level of satisfaction with the healthcare system in four countries in different years.


Baotram 1 / 1  
May 1, 2019   #1

Satisfaction With Health Systems In Four Nations



The line graph illustrates the percentage of people who were satisfied with the medical system in Canada, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom and the USA in 1991, 1998 and 2006.

Overall, it is clear that the satisfaction level in Canada and the Netherlands decreased whereas they increased slightly in the UK and the USA during the period shown. However, people were more satisfied with the healthcare system in Canada and the Netherlands than in the UK and the USA.

In 1991, Canada had the highest proportion of people being happy with the medical system, reaching 57% while just about 10% of satisfaction level in the USA which was the lowest. The level of satisfaction in the UK and The Netherlands were around 28% and 48% respectively. Then the satisfaction level in Canada dropped dramatically to approximately 22% in 1998 after that it rose steadily to 30% in 2006.

The percentage of people being happy with the healthcare system declined slightly to around 45% in 2006 before increasing to about 52% in 1998. However, there was an upward trend in the level of satisfaction in the USA and the UK, reaching 15% and 29% respectively in 1998. After that, these figures remained stable until 2006.

Thank you in advance to help improving my writing skills




Maria [Contributor] - / 479 214  
May 2, 2019   #2
In terms of data interpretation, I recommend that you be more wary of your phrasing of words. Being more specific and creating delineations can go a long way. For instance, when you are concluding that both the Canada and the Netherlands have both decreased within the period, you can mention how the former country was able to recover while the latter has steadily declined after its peak. Creating these more specific observations can help you have more control over your essay's structure.

For instance, you can revise the second paragraph as:
It is clear that satisfaction levels in Canada and the Netherlands have decreased - with the former experiencing a slight recovery from 1998 to 2006. The United Kingdom and the United States, on the other hand, have experienced a gradual increase. [...]

Knowing that these tests are bounded by word counts, you can try to make your sentences more concise through merging and omitting words.

We can try applying these techniques to your third paragraph. I would suggest phrasing it as:
In 1991, Canada had the highest proportion of satisfied people with 57%. The USA is considered as the lowest with a mere 10%. [...]

In this revision, you can choose to omit the last sentence regarding Canada's fluctuations in terms of approximate levels of satisfaction as the preceding paragraph already indicated this. There's no need for you to repeat these data as you have already made mention of them.

While it's necessary for you to be specific, try to avoid these repetitions to optimize the space you have for working.

Best of luck.
OP Baotram 1 / 1  
May 2, 2019   #3
Thank you Maria. I have noticed your comment :) and I will try to use them for the next essay.


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