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IELTS GT Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.

francigd 3 / 3  
Jun 22, 2018   #1
Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.
What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

youngsters breaking the law

Recently, crimes committed by young ages have become topic of debates globally, bringing many concerns between government and society. The growing numbers have demonstrated the relevancy of this issue. Overall, this essay will point out reasons why the new generation are involved on this situation and provide some solutions.

First and foremost, the main reason is clearly the freedom that children are growing up. Modern society allows young people to have more flexibility. For instance, while parents are working all day, their sons are being carried by other people such nannies or relatives, who in general neglected attention or have different ways to educate them. Therefore, young people, particularly teenagers are becoming far more independent to committ some crimes that they even are not aware of the consequences. Furthermore, a great solution to tackle this issue could be more presence of parent in children's daily life and also more discipline in their activities.

The secondary reason for crime rates for early ages is the easy access to information. Media often have been showing videos, films and news explaining how people strategically performed in some kind of crimes such as violence and robbers. Moreover, it is encouraged by some groups on social media rapidly. A good idea it will be reinforce the time limit of children and teenagers on TV, internet or any budget, as a consequence less exposition and vulnerability.

In conclusion, freedom and media access are main factors for problems with increased rates of crime in early ages. Parents are protagonist to solve this issue, who should be more present, monitoring the time and content available for their sons.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,003 3877  
Jun 23, 2018   #2
Franciane, your essay suffers in terms of C&C in some sections. For example, I am unclear about what you mean when you say " the freedom that children are growing up". I can only assume that you meant to say "the freedom that children ENJOY growing..." There is a lack of descriptive words in that sentence to complete the message of the sentence.

It is also improper of you to use the term "sons" in reference to the care being given. A more appropriate term would be genderless such as children, child, young people, adolescents, something that speaks of a gender without being specific about it as the prompt does not actually mention a specific type of gender when indicating who is committing the crimes. Being able to use other genderless terms on your part will show a greater LR ability on your part.

You should have presented 2 reasons for the crimes committed by the youth but not delivered under developed solution presentations in the paragraphs. A solid single reference to a solution that can apply to both instances, such as parental supervision, discussed in full as a stand alone paragraph would have been a more appropriate way to meet the prompt requirement and would have also helped to increase your C&C and GRA scores.

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