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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : Life now is better today than it was century ago

coco246 1 / 1 1  
Mar 6, 2017   #1

advantages of the modern life

Nowadays our lifestyle is different than past. Translation has improved, Medical sciences developed constantly, communication facilities has blast evolved. Our life is more various and better than it was 100 years ago.

Now we can take an air plant to go every country to enjoy the local food, it is difficult to do in hundred years ago. Even the empire or king has not done that in their whole life. Everyone can life as a king now.

By the Medical improved, Most of disease can be cured and treated. Our life can be have more hope and comfortable than before. For example: when I catch a cold and have a fever. There has a instance medicine can let me rapid recovery. If this situation is in the past 100 years ago, maybe I would die or become idiot.

People can use communication facilities to easy connect a person who living in other part of world. The cost is cheaper than it was a hundred years ago.

Now, I am enjoyed these convenient and used to this modern life, I can't image to go back in the past of 100 years ago.

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,681 1671  
Mar 6, 2017   #2
Wen wen, your score for this essay cannot be higher than a 4 for number of reasons. First of all, while you did write a little over 150 words, all of your paragraphs are under developed and carry confusing statements that cause the reader to not fully understand what you are trying to say. Second, you do not clearly identify that you are agreeing with this statement to a particular degree as the prompt instructions require. Finally, your discussion, though simple, is not properly developed in terms of sentence structure and development. While you did try to use simple sentences, these came across as difficult to read and almost as if you used a translator to write the essay. In fact, you even used the term "translation" in the essay without making any specific reference or explanation as to why you chose that word. It is because of these reasons that your essay cannot pass the test.
OP coco246 1 / 1 1  
Mar 6, 2017   #3
@Holt. thank for you comment and suggestion. i will note your reasons to improve my essay. Thank you.

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